It's Not About The Bike: Book Review

It's Not About The Bike, Lance Armstrong and Sally Jenkins, G.P. Putman's Sons, 2000

Sally Jenkins lists on the cover of the book some amazing attributes of Lance Armstrong: "Winner Tour de France- Cancer Survivor- Husband- Father- Son- Human Being."  If I were to edit the attributes I might mention Liar, Cheater, Doper, Scoundrel, and Dissimulator of Noxious Poppycock.  But then again somebody would accuse me of being a cynic.

The book is segmented into three parts, a youthful brash Lance Armstrong who was an impulsive athletic sensation feeling his roots and taking incredible risks, the Texas tornado days; the cancer diagnoses and the realization of mortality; and the aftermath, the astounding recovery and sensational athletic success of winning the Tour de France.

There are some themes to the book that resemble Every Second Counts, Lance Armstrong's propensity to launch solo suicide attacks that were usually reeled in.  His brazen, argumentative style prompted other riders in the peloton to flick him.  The term flick is derived from a German obscenity, and in cycling, it equates to tactics used by other riders in tandem to prevent one from winning a race.  Lance Armstrong was warned by other riders: "cool it, you are making enemies," and in cycling races, you do favors for friends, so they will do favors for you when the need arises.  A group of angry riders will flick you at the most critical moment.  Understand?

Then there are the weight claims, the bad cycling technique, the lack of understanding of team tactics, the lack of commitment, the lack of discipline, all excuses contrived to circumvent the rumors that the vast improvement in Lance Armstrong's performance was founded on dope.  Aerodynamics might account for some of the improvement, but how do you explain the fact that during the 1993 Tour de France, Lance Armstrong after winning the Chalons-Sur-Marne to Verdun stage, abandoned the race during stage 12; in 97th place?  Lance Armstrong claimed that the Alps were "too long and too cold."  What an amazing metamorphosis, the man of clay suddenly emerges as the man of steel, dropping the opposition like flies in sensational climbing attacks during the 1999 Tour de France, to the amazement of everyone, who predicted before the race that Lance Armstrong would never finish the race, let alone win the race.   The French press was shouting that the improvement must be related to the Epogen that Lance Armstrong took during his cancer treatments.  Lance Armstrong attempts to quell these rumors in his book; to disarm the accusations with a crafty bit of reasoning:

"There was an odd commonality in the language of cancer and the language of cycling.  They were both about blood.  In cycling, on way of cheating is to take a drug that boosts your red blood cell count.  In fighting cancer, if my hemoglobin fell below a certain level, the doctors would give me the very same drug Epogen.  There was a baseline of numbers I had to meet in my blood tests, and the doctors measured my blood for the very same thing they measured in cycling: my threshold for physiological stress." P.92.

Thus, if there was any use of Epogen, it was a therapeutic practice necessary to promote good health, not a method to increase athletic performance, and any other reasoning by the French press or anyone else was based upon a bit of loony speculation, not science.

Anyway, this argument could be extended indefinitely, but in certain sense retrospective arguments always have perfect logic.  More Germain to the issue is a specific instance in the book where a certain suspect inherent psychopathic tendency of Lance Armstrong becomes manifest, a bit of trickery, that was aided by other professional teams, where all parties made money.

The Thrift Drug Triple Crown

Thrift Drug offered a million dollar bonus to any rider who could win the 1993 Triple Crown of Cycling: a one day race in Pittsburgh, a six-day stage race in West Virginia, and the U.S. Pro Championships, a one-day road race covering 156 miles through Philadelphia.

Quoting: Wheelmen, Reed Albergotti and Vanessa O'Connell, Gotham Books, 2013

"1)  Lance Armstrong easily won the Pittsburgh race, which he had also won in 1992.
 2)   During the West Virginia race, a 493 mile, six-stage race in the hills, Lance Armstrong won the opening Morgantown prologue time trial by just under two seconds.
 3)  The second day of the West Virginia race featured a 100-mile mountain course in the Monongahela National Forest near Elkins.  After Lance Armstrong won again, his lead in the overall standings was 14 seconds, with Michael Engleman of the rival Coors Light team in second place." P.59.

Then a business deal was struck between Lance Armstrong and the Coors Light team.  Quoting: Wheelmen, Reed Albergotti and Vanessa O' Connell, Gotham Books, 2013

"With the one million dollar prize on the line, Lance Armstrong then turned to an age-old tactic to boost his chance of winning.  He sent a Motorola teammate to approach Scott McKinley, one of the captains of the Coors Light squad, with a business proposition.  Stephen Swart, another Coors team captain, later recalled, under oath during a lawsuit deposition, the following proposition:  Would Michael Engleman and his Coors Light teammates be open to a payoff in exchange for agreeing not to challenge Lance Armstrong in what remained of the Triple Crown?" P.59.

"Stephen Swart a stocky New Zealander, testified that he met Lance Armstrong in a hotel room to discuss it.  In fact, such deals were common in the strange sport of professional cycling, and not seen as entirely unsportsmanlike.  The riders quickly came to an agreement.  Stephen Swart said if the Coors team riders backed off and didn't challenge Lance Armstrong, and if Lance Armstrong won the $1 million, he would pay the Coors team a total of $50,000.  While the payment wasn't a huge amount of money, the Coors riders hadn't won the first leg of the Triple Crown in Pittsburgh, so they weren't in the running for the $1 million anyway.  They all agreed to keep it quiet, Stephen Swart said in his testimony, knowing that if the insurance company found out, it might refuse to pay up." P.59.

"A few months after the race, the Coors Light team was paid in cash for their lack of effort in the races." P.60.

Lance Armstrong recounts his attack up the Manayunk Wall:

"Then with about twenty miles left, I went. I attacked the most notoriously steep part of the course- Manayunk- all I know is that I leaped out of the saddle and hammered down on the pedals, and as I did so I screamed for a full five seconds.  I opened a huge gap on the field.  By the second to the last lap, I had enough of a lead to blow my mother a kiss.  I crossed the finish line with the biggest winning margin in race history.  I dismounted in a swarm of reporters, but I broke away from them and went straight to my mother, and we put our faces in each other's shoulders and cried." P.61.

Roberto Gaggioli of the Coors Light team claims that Lance Armstrong paid him $100,000 to allow Lance Armstrong to escape on the Manayunk Wall, other teams claimed similar payoffs.

I spent an inordinate amount of time discussing the Thrift Drug Triple Crown because it happened during the Motorola period, and serves as a precursor of behavior that would be exhibited by Lance Armstrong after he recovered from cancer.  Like all sociopaths, Lance Armstrong received positive reinforcement from his crime in the form of money and fame.  Lance Armstrong would repeat this antisocial pattern of behavior for seven Tour de France victories: until he was outed by his former teammate Floyd Landis.  Floyd Landis outed Lance Armstrong out of revenge for being flicked by Lance Armstrong and Johan Bruyneel.  Floyd Landis asked Johan Bruyneel for a job on team Radio Shack.  Johan Bruyneel said "no" to Floyd Landis because Lance Armstrong said "no."  It has been speculated that Lance Armstrong was partly responsible for Floyd Landis having difficulties landing a UCI Pro Tour job after he has served his suspension for testing positive during the 2006 Tour de France.  Lance Armstrong forgot the lesson he learned in the early days: don't make enemies.  If Floyd Landis hadn't spoken up, Lance Armstrong's crime spree would have probably continued in the form of paid sponsorship deals forever.

Lance Armstrong also was World Champion before his cancer diagnoses.  Lance Armstrong beat "Big Mig" who had just won his third straight Tour de France, at the World Championships in Oslo, Norway.  I don't think Lance Armstrong strong-armed Miguel Indurain for the win.  I think this may have been one of few legitimate wins Lance Armstrong ever produced in a professional race.  Did Lance Armstrong use dope to win?  Did Miguel Indurain use dope?  Does one suspicion cancel out another and does it really matter anymore?

Lack of Health Insurance is a Frightening Proposition

Satisfied?  Recapitulation of past crimes is important, but It's Not About The Bike, is not all about past crimes.  No: the book takes a serious personal turn and is focused with the horror of dealing with a particularly virulent form of cancer that as it metastasized, lowered the probability of survival for the patient, Lance Armstrong.  This portion of the book is very well written, and it brings back old memories of my friend Colin who suffered from stage IV of non-Hodgkin lymphoma.  An account of Colin's symptoms and struggles can be found in my review of Every Second Counts.  Lance Armstrong's account of his desire for knowledge about his illness, brings to mind days when I investigated my friend Colin's cancer.  Research studies into specific cancer types are coded with a number, on file with the National Cancer Institute; which can be downloaded on request.  The National Cancer Institute also provides a cancer dictionary, that can be copied and printed on request.  I also downloaded numerous similar research studies that I thought might have been of interest to Colin.  Then there is an association between Lance Armstrong and my friend Colin when it came to not having insurance.  The hospital informed Lance Armstrong, by letter, that he did not have any health insurance.  Lance Armstrong determined that because he was in transition between team Motorola and Cofidis, his insurance with Motorola had been canceled, and his contract with Cofidis was still pending.  Another major difference between Lance Armstrong and Colin existed;  Lance Armstrong had about $700,000 in liquid assets, Lance Armstrong says he sold his expensive Porsche, but my friend Colin didn't have two nickels to rub together.  Lance Armstrong had a team of people assisting him, my friend Colin was told by the University of Utah bone marrow transplant unit that unless he qualified for Medicaid, he would be refused service.  Now non-Hodgkin lymphoma has an almost 100% fatality rate and the average life expectancy is five years.  But without the bone marrow transplant, Colin would have been dead in six months.  Now the obvious question arises: is it worth it to spend $250,000 in hospital expenses to prolong life for five years?  Is it ethical for the medical system to keep spooning money from a man who has a zero probability of living after five years, from a man who is living in chronic psychological and physical pain?  Lance Armstrong at one time had a twenty percent chance of survival, but he lived, so obviously, the time and money were well invested.  But my friend Colin had no chance of survival, and except for being an experimental biped lab rat, he served no useful purpose except to be congratulated by the University of Utah hospital staff for bringing in a huge amount of money for the hospital.  Imagine people who are admitted to a hospital with a chronic cancer condition who have no insurance and no money.  Should we sentence these people to an early death because they are financially insolvent?  Should hospitals and doctors refuse to treat these people?  Should unemployed people, people who make minimum wage, or homeless people be turned away because they can't pay cash on demand for services?

Because, there a great number of people who think that Medicaid people are garbage who do nothing but suck money out of the system, and if they were faced with a catastrophic medical condition they should do nothing but die.  The state hates these people so much that they will do anything not to expand the Medicaid roles, preferring to watch people die.  But the chronic poor is not the only people who suffer from medical disasters, average middle-class people with inadequate medical insurance are getting squeezed too.  The number one financial distress among American families that result in bankruptcy is unexpected medical problems.

The Utah Alternative: Panacea of Folly

But Utah State Governor Gary Herbert has the solution!  It is called the Utah Alternative.  Forget Medicaid expansion with all of those excessive regulations!  Gary Herbert wants a block grant of money without any federal restrictions at all!  The money will not expand the Medicaid roles, God forbid!  No Gary Herbert wants Medicaid to be a temporary measure, if the recipient is upright with a pulse, this person will be deemed "able-bodied" and will be required to enroll into a workforce training program.  After successful completion of said program, the graduate, Gary Herbert assures us, will be able to land a "good job."  I don't disapprove of people of being trained and finding good jobs, and contributing to America.  What I object to is the notion that all people who are receiving Medicaid are nothing more than dead beat lazy parasites who would rather live off the government than work.  I fear that a great number of people who are receiving Medicaid are doing so because they are functionally illiterate, of limited physical capacity, mentally ill, or all of the above; and that these people have very few if any marketable skills or work history.  A person who is educated in America for twelve years who has a reading capacity of an eighth grader, or a student who thinks that 2+2=5, are perfect examples of people who are obviously unprepared to enter the workforce in any meaningful capacity.  However, not to worry, as the Gary Herbert training system will rectify this problem with an extensive course of remedial English, and remedial courses in mathematics, that will magically transform the illiterate into a highly educated, highly skilled super producers that any firm would be proud to hire, and promote into positions of even higher responsibility.  Sounds like a boring infomercial.  The idea is a stupid one, there will be money spent on training courses that should be spent in providing people with health insurance, and most of the people who enroll in the training course will lack the mental capacity to complete the course, these people will fail, and failure is equivalent to expulsion from the Medicaid program.  In addition, I will bet you a million dollars to a bucket of warm spit, that people will be required, after completion of the course, to find a job within thirty days, or they will be booted from their Medicaid plans.  Of course, the Utah Alternative has not been implemented yet, and Gary Herbert assures us that this is only a pilot program and that the public will have an opportunity to comment.  But never fear, the ultimate goal is to forward the plan to the Utah State legislature, a group who cannot resist the urge to be trendsetters in national embarrassment. How many times must the oppressed people of the State of Utah shake their heads in amazement at the stupidity of the laws that these people pass every session?  Listen, if you are afflicted with cancer you are not going to care about training and a job, you are going to concern about your life, and survival, period.  Worrying about liquidating your assents to pay the medical bills should never be a concern for a sick person.  It is time for Gary Herbert and his legions return to sanity, abandon their plan, and expand the Medicaid roles to cover the people who have no health insurance.  Stop playing goofy games.

Oakley Insures Lance Armstrong:

"Next day as [Candide] was taking a walk, he met a beggar, all covered over with sores, his eyes half dead, the tip of his nose eaten off, his mouth turned on one side of his face, his teeth black, speaking through his throat, tormented with a violent cough, with gums so rotten, that his teeth came near falling out every time he spit."

The beggar turned out to be Candide's tutor Dr. Pangloss.  After Dr. Pangloss gives Candide a long lecture on the transmission of the communicable disease smallpox, Candide and Dr. Pangloss engage in this memorable discussion:

"'That is admirable,' said Candide; but you must be cured.'  'Ah! how can I?' said Pangloss; 'I have not a penny, my friend; and throughout the whole extent of this globe, we cannot get anyone to bleed us, or give us a glitter, without paying for it, or getting some other person to pay for us.'"

"This last speech determined Candide, he went and threw himself at the feet of his charitable Anabaptist James, and gave him so touching description of the state his friend was reduced to, that the good man did not hesitate to entertain Dr. Pangloss, and he had him cured at his own expense."

Voltaire
Candide

Lance Armstrong is one of the lucky people who always seems to find a way out of every difficulty.  Mike Parnell, the Chief Executive Officer of Oakley came to the rescue like a knight in shining armor.  Mike Parnell said he could get Lance Armstrong health insurance through Oakley. 

"But there the health care provider balked; I [Lance Armstrong] had a preexisting condition and therefore they were not obliged to cover my cancer treatments.  Mike Parnell picked up the phone and called the provider, he informed them that if they did not cover my medical treatments, his entire firm would take it's business elsewhere.  'Cover him.'  The provider still balked.  'I don't think you understood what I just said,' Mike said.  They covered me." P.128

Well now, Obamacare has taken care of the preexisting condition problem.  But probably not for long.  There seems to be a number of highly motivated people who think Obamacare the work of Satan; and they are highly motivated to repeal and replace this health care law at any cost, even if millions of Americans are reduced to the previous American health care system of barbarism, unprovided for unless they produce cash on demand for services!  The hospitals will be inundated with uninsured patients, will these people be denied care?  Will the hospitals face bankruptcy, or be forced out of business?  Will insurance rates skyrocket as a side effect to this madness?  Will hospital closures will be discounted as collateral damage; as a necessary evil to maintain free-market purity?  This callous disregard for human life reminds me of the poetic verses of  Edgar Allan Poe:

"The motley drama-oh be sure
It shall not be forgotten!
With its Phantom chased for evermore,
By a crowd that seize it not,
Through a circle that ever returneth
To the self-same spot,
And much in Madness and more of Sin
And Horror the soul of the plot."

Edgar Allan Poe
The Conqueror Worm

But, it is nice if we all had a Mike Parnell who would sign us up under their corporate health care plans when we were in need, instead of casting us under the bus like Gary Herbert wants to do.

Brain Surgery, Mortality, and Philosophical Considerations:

The stress of not facing certain disaster gave Lance Armstrong time to focus on the task at hand, survival.  There were certain indications cancer may have spread to his brain.  A magnetic resonance image (MRI) found a number of lesions in Lance Armstrong's brain.  But according to neurosurgeon Dr. Scott Shapiro, the tumors seemed to be located on the surface of the brain, so surgery would be very simple.  But Lance Armstrong was convinced even a simple mistake could lead to catastrophic results, as some of the tumors were located in the occipital lobe, the location of neurons that regulate vision.  Call it paranoia, or irrational fear, but the night before the brain surgery Lance Armstrong had an existential moment.  He pondered death and made a philosophical resolution:  "I believed I had a responsibility to be a good person, and that meant fair, honest, hardworking, and honorable.  If I did that, if I was good to my family, true to my friends, if I gave back to my community or to some cause, if I wasn't a liar, a cheat, or a thief, then I believed that would be enough."  This personal angst by Lance Armstrong is very curious because it has been said by numerous philosophers good people do not fear, they welcome death.  People who fear punishment in the afterlife, [if such a place exists] by some vengeful deity, [if such a person exists] must have some basis for this fear: like engaging in behavior that would be considered contrary to good social norms.  Lance Armstrong's philosophical resolutions were laudable; he was facing mortality, he was uncertain as to whether his perceptual reality would be the same after the surgery as it was before the surgery: would he be blind?  Would his spacial or cognitive world be subjected to some sort of modification?  Facing the prospect of being physically changed, of having your personality modified, to emerge from surgery as a different person with different traits and characteristics, would be terrifying, and these changes might serve as an impetus for sober reflection.  As an aside: I knew a woman named Linda who had reoccurring seizures that required brain surgery.  When I met her, she already had one surgery, and the seizures abated for a while, but they returned, which required a second surgery.  I used to ask her what she was like before her first surgery, she could not exactly define it in words, but she used to say I was different. After the second surgery, her personality changed almost one hundred and eighty degrees in the opposite direction, with a pronounced cognitive decline.  She had almost no recall of her previous personality when I used to remind her of her former style, she had no recollection at all.  Her brother had the same malady, and he was resisting surgery, but the doctor told him if he waited any longer he was courting death.  I was heartbroken for both of them, it was a tragic case.

But as Lance Armstrong admitted: "Things change, intentions get lost."  Lance Armstrong's newly articulated spiritual reformation vanished like a mirage.  The laudable sentiments were replaced by a sort of cheap cynicism; win at all costs.  Necessity knows no law, and Lance Armstrong had learned from experience that winning in cycling requires a long litany of nefarious behavior,  drugs, and bribes, cheating, threats and intimidation of other riders, authority figures, or anyone else who stood in his way.  Winning also requires lawsuits: SCA Promotions.  Bribes: of UCI President Hein Verbruggen, to cover up an Epogen positive during the 2001 Tour de Suisse.  There were even rumblings that Lance Armstrong made a $1 million donation to the Indiana University Medical Center oncology unit in order to buy the silence of Dr. Craig Nichols when Lance Armstrong was accused by Betsy Andreu of making a hospital room admission to doctors of using performance-enhancing drugs during the Motorola days.  The old behaviors learned during the Thrift Drug Triple crown had returned in spades.  The vengeful deity was forgotten, replaced by a vengeful rider who was fixated on annihilating all and sundry.

As it turned out Lance Armstrong's brain tumors turned out to be necrotic.  They were dead.  He had dodged another bullet.

The Horrifying Side Effects of Chemotherapy:

The book next deals with the trauma of the side effects of chemotherapy.

"Doctor Youman explained that the standard treatment protocol for testicular cancer was called BEP, a cocktail of three different drugs, bleomycin, etoposide, cisplatin. The most important ingredient of the three was cisplatin, which is actually platinum, and its use against testicular cancer had been pioneered by a man named Dr. Lawrence Einhorn, who practiced at the Indiana University Medical Center in Indianapolis.  Prior to Einhorn's discovery, testicular cancer was almost always fatal." P.86

The chemo drugs were so toxic that nurses handled them with Ebola tested level three bio-hazard gloves.  The side effects of the chemo treatments are riveting reading, with every increase in the level of the treatment protocol the suffering intensified.  Chemotherapy kills cancer cells, but it also kills healthy normal cells, the problem is that the therapeutic dose is almost identical to the lethal dose. Dr. Craig Nichols told Lance Armstrong, "I assure you that I can kill you."  The secret is to configure a schedule that does not kill the patient, because the side effects to the lungs, will kill you!  This is a reminder to people: if your prescription says to take two, take two, not three, or four, or you may die on the emergency room table if you make it that far!  Lance Armstrong suffered for hours, balled up like a fetus, he could not eat, he could not drink, he could not read the newspaper or watch television.  Worse torture could not be devised by man than advanced chemotherapy.  Lance Armstrong developed a caregiver-patient relationship with La Trice Haney; that became almost spiritual.  This interdependency among patient and caregiver is common; my friend Collin showed me a photograph of himself standing with two nurses of the bone marrow transplant unit; smiling together, at a five-year cancer survivor picnic.  Collin always had the highest praise for these women.  Finally, one day La Trice told Lance Armstrong, "When you are cured I never want to see you again.  I want you to wonder, did I dream her?"  Powerful stuff.

The End of Cofidis:

Unfortunately, during these dark days of suffering business reared its ugly head in the form of an unexpected visit by Alain Bondue, a representative of Cofidis, where Lance Armstrong had a pending two-year contract worth $2.5 million.

Alain Bondue had a conversation with Lance Armstrong's business agent Bill Stapleton where Bill Sherwin served as an interpreter:

"Alain Bondue pointed out that my contract had a clause stating I was required to pass a medical examination.  Obviously, I was in no condition to do that.  Therefore, Cofidis had the right to cancel the contract.  They were offering to renegotiate, which they felt was generous under the circumstances.  They wanted to honor part of it, but not all.  If I didn't accept the new terms they offered, they would force me to undergo a medical scan, and terminate the contract in its entirety." P.142.

Alain Bondue would be a good staff member for the Utah Alternative, he is certainly ruthless and cold-blooded enough!

In the end, after Lance Armstrong was released from the hospital with his cancer in remission, Cofidis chief executive officer Francois Migraine told Bill Stapleton:  "We want you to know that we're going to exercise our right to terminate Lance Armstrong's contract."  Cofidis was worried that Lance Armstrong would never reach his previous riding level and that he would get sick again.

But Cofidis did make Lance Armstrong and Bill Stapleton an offer:  "Cofidis called and offered Lance Armstrong $180,000, with an incentive to pay more if he earned UCI bonus points based on performance in various races.  The base salary was the equivalent of a league minimum."  According to David Millar, this was standard practice at Cofidis at the time, incentives based on UCI points, and the practice was roundly criticized in cycling as an incentive to dope.

U.S. Postal Service: Paris-Nice: An Existential Crises: The End of Professional Cycling For Lance Armstrong?

But Lance Armstrong was finished with Cofidis.  Bill Stapleton wanted a better deal than the $180,000 minimum Cofidis was offering.  Bill Stapleton finally reached an agreement with Thomas Weisel, the mastermind behind the U. S. Postal Service Team, who offered Lance Armstrong considerably more money and even an incentive based upon UCI points.

But Lance Armstrong was going through an existential crisis again.  Worried that his cancer would return after remission, and guaranteed a disability payment from  Lloyds of London, Lance Armstrong wondered if he wanted to face the cold, the cheap European hotels, the rotten food, the injuries, and the stress of professional cycling.  Then in the 1998 Paris-Nice race, the crises reached a crescendo:  After finishing in 19th place in the prologue and feeling confident in himself, Lance Armstrong collapsed on Stage 1.  George Hincapie had been designated as team leader, and Lance Armstrong and the team were riding as domestics.  George Hincapie flats:

"We all stopped.  The peloton sped up the road away from us.  By the time we got going again, we were twenty minutes behind the leaders, and in the wind, it would take an hour of brutal effort for us to make up what we had lost.  We rode off, heads down in the rain." P.190.

Then the supreme moment of failure for every professional rider occurred, the lack of will to continue:

"The crosswind cut through my clothes and made it hard to steady the bike as I churned along the side of the road.  All of a sudden, I lifted my hands to the top of the handlebars.  I straightened up in my seat, and I coasted to the curb.  I pulled over, I quit.  I abandoned the race.  I took off my number.  I thought this is not how I want to spend my life, freezing and soaked and in the gutter." P.190; italics original text.

Lance Armstrong skipped the 1998 Tour de France, but he did do some color commentary for the 1998 Tour.  The 1998 Tour de France as we all remember was a disaster after Festina Watch soigneur Willy Voet; was caught at a French frontier post with a pharmacy of performance-enhancing drugs concealed in a wheel boot.  The reaction by ASO and the French police was nuclear.  The police conducted unannounced midnight raids on team hotels looking for contraband.  The riders and teams protested what they considered inhumane treatment; the riders laid their bikes down in the course refusing to ride.  Further police raids were initiated; teams exited the race en masse.  Lance Armstrong made the following comment:

"Doping is an unfortunate fact of life in cycling or any other endurance sport for that matter.  Inevitably, some teams and riders it's like nuclear weapons, that they have to do it to stay competitive within the peloton.  I never felt that way, and certainly, after chemo, the idea of putting anything foreign in my body was especially repulsive." P.205

This from a man who used Epogen and other performance-enhancing drugs to win the 1999 Tour de France!

Even more astounding, in context of his existential crises, his laying around the house all day until Kristen had her own near nuclear meltdown, is the fact that Lance Armstrong finished fourth in 1998 Tour of Spain:

"To place fourth in the Vuelta meant more than just a comeback.  In my previous life, I'd been a great one-day racer, but I'd never been competitive in a three-week stage race.  The Vuelta meant I was not only back, but I was also better.  I was capable of winning any race in the world.  I swept up UCI ranking points right and left, and all of a sudden I was the real deal." P.206.

Whew!  A hint!  Lance Armstrong had become magically transformed from a one-day racer into a Grand Tour winner.  This magical transformation was one of the most mystical, puzzling, and debated improvements in cycling history.  The man who abandoned the 1993 Tour de France, on the 12th stage, in 97th place, because the "Alps were too long and too cold," was suddenly placing fourth in 1998 Vuelta an Espana, shortly after withdrawing from Paris-Nice, ready to quit professional racing forever.  This was not a comeback, it was a metamorphosis.  The Phoenix had arisen from the ashes, not as a winner of classics, but as an eventual winner of seven straight Tours de France in a row, a feat that had never been accomplished even by the legendary Eddy Merckx.  Lance Armstrong's sensational improvement was of such mind-blowing proportions that fans and the press began to question its origins.

In Vitro Fertilization: The Plight of Kristen Armstrong:

The book next transitions into the trials and tribulations of Kristen Armstrong and her in-vitro fertilization, a riveting chapter of the first quality that any couple facing extinction should avidly read.  I am amazed about the amount of pain and discomfort that a woman has to endure to produce a child; a man contributes nothing; he has a pleasurable experience; but a woman!  A warrior of the finest quality.  I have spoken to women who look so young, who promptly informed me that they have four children!  When I ask about the discomfort that they may have experienced in confinement, they smile at me like I am a child who should be excused for his stupidity!  Kristen Armstrong even had a breech baby, and that is one of the most difficult deliveries imaginable, and before cesarean section killed many a woman.  So kudos to the ladies!

1999 Tour de France:

Misfortune claims some riders at the beginning of the Tour de France, they get caught up behind crashes and are never able to make up the time.  This was what happened to Alex Zulle and Michael Boogerd, who were both favored to finish high in the general classification or even win the 1998 Tour de France.  Lance Armstrong describes the situation:

"In the second stage, we came to a four-kilometer causeway called the Passage du Gois, a scene of almost surreal strangeness.  The passage is a long, narrow, blacktop road across a tidal marsh, but the brackish water floods at high tide, covering the road and making it impassable.  Even when the road is passable, it's slick and treacherous, and the edges are covered with barnacles and seaweed." P.233

Alex Zulle crashed behind a group of riders and had to wait until the carnage was sorted out so he could continue.  Alex Zulle lost over six minutes on the stage because Lance Armstrong and his team attacked, and Alex Zulle complained that he could do nothing because he was "stuck in the middle of the Atlantic ocean!"  If you subtract this incident; Alex Zulle until the Sestriere climb would have been only a minute behind Lance Armstrong.  Of all the nasty things Lance Armstrong did on a bike, and the attack on Iban Mayo on the cobblestones would rank a close second, this ranks as the most villainous, unsportsmanlike, unfair attacks, and it is unforgivable!

Sestriere Climb:

This is the point where Lance Armstrong's newly found climbing skill began to raise questions.  Lance Armstrong was in a group of riders that were nearly thirty seconds behind a group of leading riders on the course.  But suddenly Lance Armstrong attacked his group, caught the group in front, and accelerated, dropping the leading group in the process. Looking at the film is better than a thousand words, and this performance looks too good to be real.  Lance Armstrong called his effort "effortless."  But the French press wasn't buying it.  L'Euipe and Le Monde ran articles declaring that Lance Armstrong must be "taking something."  There was an additional problem, Lance Armstrong was accused of testing positive for a corticosteroid, that Lance Armstrong claimed was listed on a therapeutic use exemption form filed with the UCI before the depart.  Of course, it is now known that the UCI accepted a backdated prescription and that Hein Verbruggen knew about the whole thing and allowed it to happen.

The End.

What the hell, they even put Lance Armstrong on a Wheaties box!

Every Second Counts: Book Review

Every Second Counts, Lance Armstrong, and Sally Jenkins, Broadway Books, 2003.

Lance-o-phobes might consider Every Second Counts as a masterpiece of dissimulation.  This estimation would be too simplistic, however.  It is true, Lance Armstrong does a masterful job of denial of doping, he spins a mighty yarn.  Nevertheless, the book is not all about dope.  Lance Armstrong did suffer from a virulent form of invasive testicular cancer that metastasized into his lungs and brain.  Mr. Armstrong was subjected to traumatic chemotherapy, surgeries, and radiation treatments.  Against all odds, Mr. Armstrong fought and survived cancer.  I think Mr. Armstrong created the Lance Armstrong Foundation without mercenary motives: a place where cancer survivors could meet, share experiences, and be consoled by other cancer survivors.  The Lance Armstrong Foundation survives in spite of the personal backlash Mr. Armstrong experienced after the Reasoned Decision and the Oprah doping confession.  The foundation Lance Armstrong created still exists, but the foundation has been re-named Livestrong.  Mr. Armstrong resigned as the leader of the team.  Nevertheless, the Livestrong foundation continues to help people who suffer from the most insidious disease of all, cancer.

Cancer awareness and education is a good thing, after all, we all know someone who suffered from cancer.  My mother had breast cancer, she is a survivor.*  A friend of mine, Collin, was diagnosed with stage IV non-Hodgkin lymphoma.  I was his roommate.  He was a gifted college varsity athlete.  Collin needed a bone marrow transplant.  His stem cells were harvested, his immune system was killed, he was given radiation and chemotherapy treatments.  His stem cells were re-infused.  One fine day while at the University of Utah hospital, Collins' lungs began to cleave cells, he spent days expectorating blood.  Collins' condition deteriorated to the point that he was placed on a "death watch."  But Collin had the will to live and the man beat all odds: his lungs healed, and he was released from the hospital, his cancer in remission.  Then began after-effects.  Collin injected EPO to raise his red blood cell count.  There was little progress.  Collin had a damaged spleen that was cannibalizing his red blood cells, so his spleen was surgically removed.  Then shingles appeared.  Then the bone in his hips suffered severe atrophy; he received bilateral artificial hip replacements.  Then he began to experience cognitive problems with language and reasoning.  Then: unexpectedly, his cancer returned.  After the L'Alpe d'Huez stage during the 2001 Tour de France, the Salt Lake Tribune published a photograph of Lance Armstrong flexing his biceps, over the caption "King of the Hills."  I cut out the photograph and glued it to the wall in the garage where I used to work on my bikes.  Collin declared Lance Armstrong to be his favorite athlete.  Mr. Armstrong meant a great deal to both of us in those days.  Collin died one night in a convalescence home, from a ruptured artery.  Thus ended a valiant battle of a man whose life was terminated in such a sadistic fashion, by such a callous foe: cancer.  I have empathy with cancer patients and survivors; I have seen suffering first hand. I commend the intrepid research being done at the Huntsman Cancer Institute, and at other institutions who are committed to finally ending cancer as a disease once and for all.  I hope a cure is discovered soon, that extends to all cancer types.  In the meantime, never give up hope, ever.

Every Second Counts is a snapshot of happier days for Lance Armstrong, he was still married to Kristin Richard, he was focused on raising his son Luke, he was ecstatic about the birth of his twin daughters, Grace Elizabeth, and Isabelle Rose.  Mr. Armstrong was a loving husband and father, for the moment.  Later, Lance Armstrong divorced "Kik."  Kristin Armstrong lived in Austin, Texas with the children while Lance Armstrong lived in Girona, Spain, in his castle flat with his life in girlfriend Sheryl Crow.  A run amok playboy.  Not so family-focused then, of course.  Later there would be other women with whom Mr. Armstrong would sire children.  The later behavior of Lance Armstrong would tend to reinforce the opinion of the Lance-o-phobes.  Lance Armstrong is nothing more than a narcissistic selfish hedonistic psychopath.

A comment on the rough treatment Sally Jenkins received from the press after she attempted to support Lance Armstrong after the USADA allegations surfaced.  You paragons of virtues who live in glass houses should refrain from casting stones, for if you should stumble, the same fate awaits you.  Leave the poor woman alone.

Lance Armstrong Quotes

"It was not hard to feel that I'd been singled out because I was successful and American."

"Anyone who thought I would go through four cycles of chemo just to risk my life by taking EPO was crazy.  It was one thing to seek to maximize performance or explore a pharmacological grey zone.  It was another to court death."

"Luke's name is Armstrong and people know that name, and when he goes to school I don't want them to say, 'oh yeah, your dad's the big fake, the doper.'  That would just kill me."

The first quote by Lance Armstrong typifies his attitude towards his doping.  Indeed, Armstrong used the same logic when he stormed out of a meeting with Travis Tygart: everyone doped, but I am the only one being punished.  The second quote is a masterpiece of misinformation: what former cancer patient would take risks that might prompt a return of cancer?  Most sound-minded people would agree; the side effects of performance-enhancing drug use is not fully understood; drugs might trigger a genetic predisposition or genetic trait and terminate remission: so why take unnecessary risks?  The third quote, apparently, motivated Lance Armstrong to confess his crimes on Oprah.  Luke was being teased about his doper father, and Lance Armstrong wanted to set the record straight.  Ignoring the sincerity of his motives, these statements provide a window into the psychological makeup of Lance Armstrong as a man.

Tour de France 1999

Right from the start doping allegations plagued the miracle man.  Lance Armstrong was detected using a corticosteroid that was on the WADA prohibited list.  There were people who claimed Lance Armstrong, on his original therapeutic use exemption form filed with the UCI before the race, declared he was not using any forbidden prescribed medications by a doctor essential for his health.  Furthermore, under oath, Emma O' Reilly testified the corticosteroid prescription for saddle sores "that never existed" was backdated by Dr. Luis Garcia del Moral.  David Walsh alleges the UCI was fully cognizant of this prescription forgery.  However, Lance Armstrong would contest these versions of the story insisting he had followed proper protocol.

"I used an analgesic cream that contained corticosteroids to treat a case of saddle sores, so the press reported that I tested positive for a banned substance.  It was untrue.  I had received permission from race authorities to use the cream." P.76.

Nevertheless: during the 1999 Tour de France, the UCI decided to gather samples from selected riders that would be preserved until a suitable test could be developed to detect synthetic EPO: a drug that was being abused with particular virulence at the time.  When these samples were tested in 2004 by the French WADA accredited laboratory LNDD, several samples marked with Lance Armstrong's doping control number tested positive for synthetic EPO.  Lance Armstrong's 1999 Tour de France prologue, and 1999 L'Alpe d'Huez stage samples showed nearly perfect synthetic EPO isoforms.  After the mountain stages had stopped, the collected Lance Armstrong samples showed no sign of further synthetic EPO use, but, the samples did mimic physiological parameters that would be expected after an abrupt cessation of synthetic EPO use.  Of course, these tests generated an amazing amount of controversy, and the certainty of the test results remain debatable.  But, in 2004, the UCI, on the recommendation of Emile Vrijman, refused to suspend any of the riders who tested positive, including Lance Armstrong.  Emile Vrijman in a scathing report cited safety concerns with the WADA accredited Chatenay-Malabry laboratory that rendered the results suspect. Emile Vrijman also chided the behavior of WADA president Dick Pound, who openly opined on numerous occasions a philosophy that anyone suspected of using performance-enhancing drugs was guilty of committing crimes, and contesting the accusation in arbitration against infallible WADA was nothing more than a deceitful ruse on the part of the athlete.  Christiane Ayotte remarked that she found the LNDD results "surprising" due to the fact that stored EPO samples would degrade over time, thus the quantitative content of EPO in the samples could not produce the almost perfect isoform values measured at LNDD.  Christiane Ayotte also wondered if the prevailing attitude among the alphabet agencies was drifting toward acceptance of unverified "positive" samples.  The "A" samples of the 1999 Tour de France were not available in 2004 for testing.  Nevertheless, these "positive" results did fuel speculation that the miracle man might have been doping for his entire reign, and these rumors refused to die.

Tour de France 2000

After Lance Armstrong won an Olympic time trial bronze medal in Sydney, Australia, [since rescinded] he returned home to an announcement that the French government had opened a criminal doping probe against him and the U.S. Postal Service Professional Cycling Team.

"During the 2000 Tour, someone surreptitiously videotaped two of our medical staff as they threw away a couple of trash bags.  The tape was sent anonymously to a government prosecutor, as well as to the French 3 television station." P.72.

The medical waste supposedly contained traces of actovegin, a drug that may possibly aid recovery from acute injury.  However, actovegin was not on the prohibited list at the time.  Nevertheless, Sophie-Helene Chateau, the judge of instruction,

"Promptly subpoenaed all of my urine samples from the 2000 Tour as well as those of the rest of the U.S. Postal Service team.  She appointed an assistant prosecutor, Francois Franchi, to conduct an investigation.  We were charged with suspicion of using doping products, inciting the use of doping products, and using toxic substances." P.73.

The tests done on the U.S. Postal riders did not turn up any positives for EPO use.  I think the French launched the investigation for sensationalism.  Although the probe was of a long duration nothing was conclusively proven.  The rumors persisted about the miracle man using performance-enhancing drugs, unabated, however.  Why?

TDF 2000: Hautacam Climb

I remember this stage vividly even today.  Lance Armstrong never looked so smooth on the pedals.  In one kilometer of riding Armstrong was taking one minute out of "en Tete de la course" Javier Palacios Ochoa.  Lance Armstrong dropped Marco Pantani, who initiated an attack, like a hot rock.  The 2000 Tour was essentially over at this point, even though Marco Pantani remarked Lance Armstrong had peaked "too early."

TDF 2000: Mont Ventoux

The cold cruel mistral winds were in full force during this immortal stage.  Marco Pantani attacked and Lance Armstrong responded near the Tommy Simpson memorial.  Armstrong claims he told Marco Pantani to "ride with him," but Pantani claimed Armstrong told him to "get out of the way."  Marco Pantani also was very offended when Lance Armstrong claimed he had gifted Marco Pantani the stage win.  Lance Armstrong later insulted Marco Pantani by referring to him as "Elefantino" rather than the more respectful "Pirata."  This stage still rates as one of the greatest Tour duels of all time.

TDF 2000: Col de Joux-Plane

"Lance Armstrong will not win the 2000 Tour de France."
Marco Pantani

Still smoldering with fury Marco Pantani solo attacked the peloton and built up a lead of over ten minutes.  Lance Armstrong and the U.S. Postal Service team had to respond to this attack up-tempo.  Lance Armstrong was so intent on catching Marco Pantani, Lance Armstrong failed to take a musette bag at the feed zone.  The result of this blunder was a spectacular bonk on the Col de Joux-Plane. Marco Pantani's ploy seemed to be working in masterful fashion.  First, Lance Armstrong was passed by arch-rival Jan Ullrich, then by Richard Virenque, both of whom looked at the stricken Lance Armstrong with amazement.  There is no way of knowing how much time Lance Armstrong would have lost, or even if he would have finished the stage, if not two good Samaritans, Roberto Conti and Guido Trentin, in an act of supreme sportsmanship, had not paced Lance Armstrong to the summit of the climb, and sheltered him from the wind.  Marco Pantani later claimed he suffered "stomach cramps from drinking ice-cold sugar water on a hot summer day," and after being caught by Lance Armstrong, Marco Pantani faded quickly and retired to the back of the peloton.  Marco Pantani withdrew from the Tour the next day, and he would never ride again in a Tour de France, because, he had been granted the notorious title of persona non grata: a title imposed on him because he was suspected of several violations of performance-enhancing drug use during the 2001 Giro d' Italia.  ASO had had enough of Marco Pantani, in the same way, ASO ostracized Richard Virenque; post-Festina.

Tour de France 2001

The doping allegations against Lance Armstrong entered a new phase, but this time the allegations were substantive and long-reaching.  From The Tour Is Won on the Alpe, Jean-Paul Vespini, (David V. Herlihy, Translator), Velo Press, 2008.

"The 2001 Tour was barely underway when the journalist David Walsh of London's Sunday Times published explosive new charges fingering the champion himself, Lance Armstrong, who was seeking his third straight Tour victory.  In a highly detailed article, Walsh presented a number of troubling allegations linking Armstrong to drugs, focusing on the racers' association with the controversial Italian doctor Michele Ferrari, whom the American himself had praised for his integrity.  Walsh asserted that Lance Armstrong had visited the doctor on numerous occasions over the years, and even listed the dates and locations of their encounters.  Walsh also quoted a former Motorola racer who asserted that EPO had been widely used by the team when Lance Armstrong had been a member.  The source also cited a few other troubling affairs, including the case of Lance's former teammate Kevin Livingston, who had experienced strange variations in his red-blood-cell count." PP. 143-144.

TDF 2001: The Team Time Trial

Christian Vande Velde and Roberto Heras collided in the U.S. Postal Service train during the team time trial.  Vande Velde broke his arm and had to withdraw from the Tour.  Since the team time trial clock stops when the fifth rider crosses the line, (thus the picturesque spreading out of the riders at the line), Lance Armstrong could have ordered the team to abandon Vande Velde and Heras.*  Instead, Lance Armstrong ordered the team to wait for Heras and Vande Velde to recover from their accident.  Incredibly, even with the wait, the U.S. Postal Service Team finished the team time trial forth on the course, @ 1 minute 26 seconds behind Credit Agricole, who rode an inspired team time trial in support of maillot jaune Stuart O' Grady.
*Note: the train consists of nine riders if none have abandoned the race previous to the team time trial.  If a rider is separated from the train and falls behind he or she is awarded a separate time.

TDF 2001: Outside of the Time Limit

Then there was an escape by Francois Simon and Russian rider Andrei Kivilev during a rain-soaked stage of the 2001 Tour.  Francois Simon finished the stage with a lead of 35 minutes.  Of course, in the end, this escape did not figure into the final general classification, however, the peloton, including Lance Armstrong and Jan Ullrich, did finish outside of the time limit.  According to race rules, Lance Armstrong and Jan Ullrich could have been disqualified from the race.  In spite of the insistence from some disgruntled fans that everyone outside of the time limit be disqualified, Tour officials found a loophole in the rules: if a certain percentage of the peloton fell outside of the time limit, then the disqualification could be waived if a reasonable cause could be found for the delay.  Torrential rain might be an acceptable excuse, or possibly a blizzard.  But stupidity?  After all, nobody wanted to expend the energy to reel in the breakaway, did they?

TDF 2001: "The Look" L'Alpe d'Huez

Lance Armstrong put on a masterful performance of suffering during this stage.  Feigning fatigue and illness Lance Armstrong fell to the back of the leading group, a place where many riders "go out the back."  Scenting blood Jan Ullrich and his Team Telekom lieutenants drove a hard tempo, trying to drop Lance Armstrong.  But at the base of L'Alpe d'Huez, an amazing transformation occurred.  Lance Armstrong experienced an amazing recovery, the recently exhausted man suddenly showed amazing resilience.  Lance Armstrong launched an attack, looking over his shoulder through his Oakley sunglasses at Jan Ullrich, while Phil Liggett commented, "Well, are you coming or not?  The answer is not!" as Lance Armstrong pulled away.  This brazen audacity by Lance Armstrong became immortalized in the annals of cycling as "The Look"

The reaction to Lance Armstrong at the summit of L'Alpe d'Huez was mixed.  From: The Tour Is Won on the Alpe, Jean-Paul Vespini, (David V. Herlihy, Translator), Velo Press, 2008.

Both applause and disapproving whistles greeted Lance Armstrong at the finish line.  The crowd at L'Alpe d'Huez, as skeptical as it was admiring, was focused on a fundamental question: was Lance Armstrong really the great champion of the new century, or did he simply have access to a yet unknown pharmacopeia?  It was rather unjust to be suspicious of him at that point.  The American, after all, had always claimed to be clean, and no firm evidence had indicated otherwise.  Jan Ullrich finished second 1:59 behind.  He had lost over 8 seconds per kilometer behind Lance Armstrong, "the motorcycle." P.144.

TDF 2001: Pla d'Adet

The course of Pla d'Adet passed the spot where Lance Armstrong's former Motorola teammate Fabio Casartelli died during a Tour descent in 1995.  Jan Ullrich almost duplicated Fabio Casartelli's feat when failing to negotiate a turn, he plunged off a precipice into the trees.  Incredibly, in spite of all indications, Jan Ullrich emerged unscathed.  In a gesture of supreme sportsmanship, Lance Armstrong stopped pedaling and waited for Jan Ullrich to catch up.  On the last climb Pla d'Adet, Lance Armstrong attacked Jan Ullrich who did not respond:

"I crossed the finish line alone and toppled off the bike, spent, the new leader of the Tour de France.  We had done what Johan [Bruyneel] asked, and attacked at every opportunity, and the result was that we had won three of the last four stages, and made up 35 minutes and 24 places in the standings.  In two days alone, we'd made up 22 minutes.  It set a record for the biggest deficit ever overcome." P.118

Remarkable what obsessive training and performance-enhancing drugs can accomplish.  If there was a concern about Lance Armstrong using performance-enhancing drugs during the 2001 Tour de France, the suspicions should have focused straight on the results of these stages.  There was simply too much uniformity of performance, that indicated artificiality.

2004 Tour de France: Lance Armstrong Goes Postal!

During the 2001 Tour de France, the invariable questions from the press and public ensued; all focused on Michele Ferrari, who was under investigation for allegedly supplying riders with doped blood.  A link had been established between Michele Ferrari and Filippo Simeoni; a proven doper.  In the investigation of Michele Ferrari, the name Lance Armstrong surfaced.  Lance Armstrong stated that Michele Ferrari had advised him merely on mundane matters: altitude testing, power meter training, watts per kilogram; legal topics that all top riders discuss to improve performance.  Lance Armstrong also claimed that he was working with Michele Ferrari in preparation for an attempt on the world record one hour ride.  But Michele Ferrari had a bad reputation: he brazenly declared in an interview that EPO was no more dangerous than drinking ten liters of orange juice.  Michele Ferrari was also a star student of Francesco Conconi, a notorious doping doctor who was accused of providing human growth hormones and doped blood to the 1980 Italian Olympic Team.  Francesco Conconi had also designed a medical regimen for Francesco Moser: to prepare him for his world record one hour ride in Mexico City in 1984, a ride that dwarfed the old one hour Mexico City world record ride set by Eddy Merckx in 1972.  Francesco Moser would later admit he had injected "doctored" blood prepared by Francesco Conconi and Michele Ferrari.  During the 2004 Tour de France, a curious incident occurred between Filippo Simeoni and Lance Armstrong that directly related to Michele Ferrari.  After Filippo Simeoni publicly accused Lance Armstrong of using illegal substances provided by Michele Ferrari, Filippo Simeoni attempted to join a breakaway on flat stage 18 near the end of the 2004 Tour.  There was no need to reel Filippo Simeoni in, as he was no threat to the general classification.  But unexpectedly, and contrary to cycling etiquette: (a maillot jaune never leaves the peloton to ride down a breakaway), Lance Armstrong went after Filippo Simeoni with a vengeance.  Lance Armstrong reportedly told the breakaway group, if Filippo Simeoni did not return to the peloton immediately, Lance Armstrong would order his team to attack and reel in the breakaway.  The riders in the breakaway group, seeing the maillot jaune in the breakaway were furious with Filippo Simeoni, because he was jeopardizing their chances for a stage win.  Filippo Simeoni had to submit to the pressure, he capitulated, returning to the back of the peloton where he faced further rider insults.  Later, Filippo Simeoni declared he had been threatened by Lance Armstrong: and he filed a lawsuit demanding compensation.  The case was settled in Filippo Simeoni's favor.  This incident was later cited as evidence of bullying and tactics of intimidation Lance Armstrong used throughout his professional cycling career: tactics which included forcing his hapless teammates to use performance-enhancing drugs against their wills: all to satisfy Lance Armstrong's monomania to be the greatest Tour champion ever.

Spinning a Myth: It's All About the Weight

Lance Armstrong does spend some time discussing his weight: prior to and post-cancer.  This discussion cannot be ignored because during the Motorola period Lance Armstrong rode an average Tour, and most years he withdrew long before Paris.  Since Armstrong maintained an aura of innocence as to his drug use there had to be another explanation for his tremendous improvement on the bike; a magic bullet, if you will.  A University of Texas physiologist Edward F. Coyle performed a series of experiments on Lance Armstrong and concluded that the increase in performance from prior to post-cancer was the result of increased pedaling efficiency, and loss of weight.  Edward F. Coyle's conclusions generated a furious debate among other sports physiologists, however: some called his research bunk, others questioned his methodology, and some even accused him of miscalibration of his instrumentation.  In Every Second Counts, Lance Armstrong does a masterful spin job of misleading dissimulation to support Edward F. Coyle's conclusions.

"Every once in a while, I'd deliver a big ride: when I was 21, I had come out of nowhere to win the Worlds, and then a stage of the Tour de France.  But mostly I cruised for months at a time, performing decently but not exceptionally, just meeting the definition of "professional."  After cancer, I realized I'd been operating at about half of my abilities.  For one thing, I carried 15 to 20 pounds more weight than I should have, some of it in puppy fat and some of it in margaritas and tortilla chips.  After cancer, I was twenty pounds lighter." PP.155-156.

"Under Johan [Bruyneel], I began training seriously, and kept the weight off, and discovered what a huge difference it made in the mountains, where your own body was your biggest adversary.  The lost weight, I discovered, made me 10 to 12 minutes faster over a mountain stage; I figured it saved me about three minutes on every mountain pass I rode.  As a young rider, I would start off at the gun and just go.  I didn't really know how to race: I mashed big gears and thrashed around on the bike.  My position is all wrong. Now with Johan [Bruyneel] and Chris Carmichael, I studied proper aerodynamic positioning and effective cadence." P.156; italics added.

Indeed!  It was obvious.  It was better training, altitude tents, better coaching, better diet, higher drive and motivation, improved technology, power meters, improvements in skin suits, space-age bicycle design, wind tunnels, computer analysis of power outputs.  But dope?  Forget about it!

Conclusion:

As Lance Armstrong told Floyd Landis: "There was no mystery and no miracle drug that helped me win the Tour de France in 1999!"  This statement is disingenuous, of course, but it does reinforce the notion that winning Grand Tours requires hard work, and nobody worked harder than Lance Armstrong.

Lance Armstrong also misleads us when he claims after his former teammates departed U.S. Postal Service they maintained good relations.  Tyler Hamilton lived in Girona, Spain; and when he joined CSC, Tyler Hamilton claims he actively avoided Lance Armstrong like the plague.  There were rumors Lance Armstrong fired Kevin Livingston, who joined Team Telekom (T-Mobile) to bring in the Spanish rider Roberto Heras, and further interactions between Armstrong and Livingston were terse, at best.  In Every Second Counts, even though Lance Armstrong speaks very favorably of Floyd Landis, who had just received a new two-year contract with the U.S. Postal Service Professional Cycling Team, by the end of the contract Floyd Landis was so fed up he would have retired from cycling rather than continue with the U.S. Postal Service Professional Cycling Team.  As Lance Armstrong says in his book, "some people regarded him as a tyrant," and from accounts of his conduct, there appears, today, very few who would disagree with this statement.

Update 2020

* A lady friend of mine, her name is Gail, has a particularly difficult time dealing with cancer.  All four of Gail's sisters are dead.  Three of Gail's sister's died of cancer at a very young age.  Gail's fourth sister died young of unknown "natural causes".  When Gail's sister Janice lost all of her hair as a side-effect of chemotherapy, Gail and her family members shaved their hair in support of Janice, and vowed to remain bald until Janice recovered.  Gail and her family shaved their heads to raise cancer awareness among the community, and Gail and her friends launched a cancer awareness Internet campaign stylized, #Janice's Army, or #Janice's Army Strong, on Facebook.  Janice died in 2017 from cancer.  In May 2019, Gail's last remaining living sister, Debi, died of cancer.  Debi's obituary states, "No funeral is planned.  In lieu of flowers, donations may be made toward fighting cancer."  An appropriately blunt message.  When I got confirmation that Debi had died, I wrote this message to Gail.  "I am heartbroken for you.  My mom died in September 2019, from bone marrow cancer.  My mom had a virulently pernicious breast cancer that metastasized throughout her whole body.  My mom suffered for years with chronic pain, she dealt with chemotherapy treatments, baldness, radiation treatments, and expensive hospitalizations.  So, I understand your pain".  Gail greatly suffers emotionally from the loss of her sisters.  Gail said her sisters were; "my best friends".  My mother is no longer a survivor, she is a statistic.  Gail's sisters who died of cancer, Janice, Valerie, and Debi are no longer survivors, they are statistics.  Cancer leaves behind a wake of family tears, shed by mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters.  "In lieu of flowers, donations may be made toward fighting cancer".

Doping: Cycling's Vicious Cycle

Don't ask me to repeat myself again.  You, dear reader, know that the sports world and cycling in particular is saturated with cheaters and dopers who will venture all for greed and fame.  The golden fleece awarded to the winner of the Tour de France is as addictive to some people as the endless accumulation of money is addictive to a Wall Street Banker, and is characteristic of our worthless genetic constitutions as human beings. The degree of doping of sport is certainly driven by monetary considerations where cycling as a profession seems to wane in comparison with Baseball at least in America; but the disparity even though absurd is equaled in some degree by sponsorship agreements.  Think of what Lance Armstrong did for Trek bicycles!  Trek doled out millions of dollars but made much, much, more!  U.S. Postal made a mint too considering the pitiful contribution made to cycling; whom most Americans before Lance Armstrong would not even consider a legitimate sport!

Phew!  Why bother with stupid summations and comparisons, except to state that Lance Armstrong was treated in the most disgraceful fashion by Travis Tygart and the United States Anti-Doping Agency.  Seems like the anti-doping crusade is as addicted to wealth and power as much as the cheating athletes!  Stripping Lance Armstrong of his seven Tour de France titles was an excessive abuse of prosecutorial zeal, certainly, and deterred whom?  Probably no one on Team Sky who don't have to worry about a fourteen year personal vendetta from Inspector Javert; but if they were under his jurisdiction instead of Brian Cookson's, things would be different!  Because like Inspector Javert, Travis Tygart would rather drown himself in the Seine rather than to shirk from his civic duty!  This endless police obsession with bringing the criminal to justice after fourteen years of futile effort reflect as much madness on the part of the police as on the criminal.  But fame and notoriety are addictive, who doesn't want to be remembered as a legendary crime fighter?  The poor sport of cycling is suffering from a surcease of embarrassment from these obsessional vendettas, never fear.  Those who were responsible for cleaning up the sport showed an incredible amount of ineptness and let the cancer fester; when with a little initiative they could have circumvented this whole sordid doping plague in the bud!  But, there is still time to strut like a peacock years after the fact when the patient is terminal and facing certain death. But then again if you happen to be stuffing your purse with gratuities why not turn a blind eye to the obvious.  After all there were plenty of allegations swirling around and plenty of finger pointing.  But rest assured with the new administration we can all expect a speedy resolution and ruthless purge of the offending persons even if it happens to be ten years after the fact!

But don't expect any empathy from me, criminals or police, you both belong in the pantheon of cycling shame, a pox on your houses!  As for the intimidation of the riders in professional races, Bernard Hinault makes Lance Armstrong look meek in comparison; but back in the good old days the riders took it on the chin like men and did not run off like cry babies to the anti-doping agency confessional booth.  But someone has to be patron and rule over the peloton and win the race; and being patron does not include being a timid man.  This concept is an unwritten rule of cycling, understood by all.  It is hypocritical to include this behavior as reprehensible when it has been the code of conduct in professional races since Maurice Garon.

So stop the whining.  You ever been bullied and dumped in a ditch for refusing to comply with an order from the patron?  You ever had the patron bridge the gap and order you to drop out of a breakaway?  This sort of behavior is infectious and reinforcing especially when the target is an introverted, nervous man.  Nevertheless, there has to be some sort of discipline with in the pack or there would chaos, mayhem, accidents, and injuries in abundance.  Mavericks who take dangerous chances are not acceptable players.  People who whine about being kept in check need to consider another profession, there is no use in acting like a spoiled child expecting preferential treatment.  If you guys don't respect the sport you are so naturally gifted for, then go drive a long haul truck like Iban Mayo!  Honestly, I can't figure out how the group would even want to ride with you whiny losers, let alone have you on their teams!

Enough!  2013 what a year, phew!  I was expecting improvement and full disclosure by this time.  But instead of immediate action, we see endless procrastination, excuses, denials, failure to communicate, idiocy, and stupidity.  The UCI is a joke, even considering the recent house cleaning, and without immediate reform will continue to be a source of buffoonery.  But don't expect miracles unless you are using performance enhancing drugs!  Fear not!  Even though you are generating amazing amounts of power on climbs up the Pyrenees cols and dropping the entire peloton, friends are watching your back!

It is endlessly the same old thing over and over again!

Lance Armstrong: Surrender Your Medal!

The United States Olympic Committee (USOC) has finally emerged from a thirteen-year comatose state and has demanded that Lance Armstrong voluntarily surrender his misbegotten 2000 Olympic individual time trial bronze medal to the USOC based upon his confession of using performance-enhancing substances; sans a due process arbitration hearing.  I am absolutely convinced this new humiliation of Lance Armstrong will absolutely prove to neophyte aspirants to Olympic success that glory achieved by doping is not worth the risk of detection, apprehension, and punishment.

Of course, this opinion as to the effectiveness of punishment thirteen years after the fact when it is very probable that every medalist in Olympic cycling during the steroid era used performance-enhancing drugs is highly dubious. Olympic cyclists who were never detected let alone punished for performance-enhancing drug use does not act as a deterrent for neophyte Olympic aspirants to refrain from doping. The probability of being caught and punished continues to be astronomically small during the Olympic games, in spite of advancements in dope testing.  Retrograde admissions of performance-enhancing drug use from a retired athlete, and demands for punishment for this admission from sanctioning bodies, deter nobody currently engaged in nefarious doping behavior.  Will the USOC insist that athletes who currently dope will be apprehended years from now in some dragnet, then humiliated with exposure for past crimes, then forced to return Olympic medals and refund prize money?

One of my former heroes, Jan Ullrich won an Olympic gold medal.  Herr Jan Ullrich was not only linked to Operation Puerto: but he also tested positive for amphetamines after taking the drug ecstasy during a rave.  Herr Jan Ullrich was Lance Armstrong's main rival for seven consecutive Tours de France and there is a minuscule chance Jan Ullrich rode clean during any Tour de France. Nevertheless, there is no clamor among the outraged International Olympic Committee (IOC) to investigate Herr Jan Ullrich for possible doping during the 2000 Olympic games where Jan Ullrich won gold and silver medals; or any suggestion that Jan Ullrich admit to doping; or that his teammate's exact revenge in sworn affidavits pointing out all of the doping violations Jan Ullrich engaged in.  Nor did the IOC demand that Rudy Pevenage be banned for life for his alleged involvement in cheating.  Nor did the UCI demand that Herr Jan Ullrich and Team Telekom be made into an international scandal and example of doping subterfuge.

Only in America do we drag our past heroes through the sewage exacting revenge; no other country in the world would ever consider doing something so despicable.  Yet who is the better model for our youth, Mr. Lance Armstrong or Herr Jan Ullrich?  Lance Armstrong is punished for his crimes and deprived of everything, while Jan Ullrich lives in luxurious surroundings fearing nothing, even though both men probably committed the same doping offense at the same time.  It is obviously better to embrace the notion that the ends justify the means; but not to do so for an extended period of time, since the distribution of punishment is arbitrarily applied.

It is also revolting to note that the very people who enforce rules are rooted in bribery and corruption; the very people who demand retribution from doping athletes.  Examine the corruption that occurred during the Salt Lake City Olympic Games from members of the International Olympic Committee (IOC); men who accepted cash bribes, special academic scholarships for their children, and services from local prostitutes.  Graft seems acceptable tokens for the Olympic games, and the city that provides the greatest largess wins the prize.  Revolting conduct that only serves to demean international athletic competition.  But so what?  Cycling has people who are not above accepting cash to provide favors to selected individuals.  Hypocrites who paint our sport with a tawdry brush.  Sadly, the majority of these enforcement people are impossible to eradicate from our sport.  They become entrenched with nothing to fear from outside Independent oversight, no matter how apparent their filth.

Lance Armstrong probably spit upon his Olympic bronze medal before he surrendered it to the United States Olympic Committee (USOC).  "One reptile devours another," as Ivan Karamazov stated to his brother Alyosha Karamazov.  The feeblest criminal will be excoriated in disgrace, while those doing the flaying will be extolled as virtuous people who deserve to be emulated by our youth.  Liars!  All of the miscreants should be swept out with a broom!

Floyd Landis Qui Tam: Jury Award One Dollar

The United States Postal Service has joined Floyd Landis as a party in a qui tam lawsuit against Lance Armstrong and Johan Bruyneel.   A qui tam action is defined by law.com as:

qui tam action

: (kwee tam) n. from Latin for "who as well," a lawsuit brought by a private citizen (popularly called a "whistle blower") against a person or company who is believed to have violated the law in the performance of a contract with the government or in violation of a government regulation, when there is a statute which provides for a penalty for such violations. Qui tam suits are brought for "the government as well as the plaintiff." In a qui tam action the plaintiff (the person bringing the suit) will be entitled to a percentage of the recovery of the penalty (which may include large amounts for breach of contract) as a reward for exposing the wrongdoing and recovering funds for the government. Sometimes the federal or state government will intervene and become a party to the suit in order to guarantee success and be part of any negotiations and conduct of the case. This type of action is generally based on significant violations which involve fraudulent or criminal acts, and not technical violations and/or errors.

The transcript of the legal filing appears here, if someone is insane enough to wade through all of that crap.  The bottom line of all this rot is the greed of whistle blower Floyd Landis who wants a certain percentage of what could amount to one a hundred and twenty million dollar penalty!  Half of Lance Armstrong's estimated wealth.  Given to a dope addict who was schooled by uber dope doctor Michele Ferrari who trained his disciples on the techniques of how to cheat and never be detected, and who "knowingly" used these methods to "unjustly enrich" themselves not only when riding with the United States Postal Service Professional Cycling Team, but afterwards with varying degrees of sophistication until caught by improved testing methodology.  But, so what, Floyd Landis also defrauded many of his supporters in a bogus attempt to prove his innocence by soliciting money via the Floyd Fairness Fund, a fact that has been forgiven due to the cooperative nature of the deceiver.

What, didn't Frankie Andreu and his wife Betsy want any qui tam action?  Just revenge for calling Betsy an "ugly old cow" by a stupid brute clown tyrant Lance Armstrong who thought he could dictate terms via threats and intimidation.  There is nothing more vicious than a woman scorned and nothing sweeter than spending a man's money whom you despise.  But nevertheless why rehash old allegations that seemingly have been proven true by an unchallenged prosecution summary of events?  More important than old axes to be ground is establishing in a legal sense the damage done and who suffered from these actions, Floyd Landis and the U.S. Postal Service?  These facts will be stipulated in a jury trial if Lance Armstrong and Johan Bruyneel do not settle the dispute; however, it has been speculated that the U.S. Postal Service reaped millions of dollars in advertising profits as a direct result of the sponsorship of Lance Armstrong and the uncanny success of the U.S. Postal Service Professional Cycling Team.  And Floyd Landis would have suffered no monetary damage at all if he would have employed his pea size brain after the bonk.  Very difficult to establish harm by any definition and the only true and just result from a jury would be one dollar in compensation in damages as a symbolic gesture, the share awarded to Floyd Landis for his whistle blowing prowess, one thin dime.

The U.S. Postal Service has no excuse, they knew of the doping accusations against Lance Armstrong and the team, yet they continued to sponsor the team until the letter carriers objected because they thought Lance Armstrong was being paid an inordinate salary.  So greed outweighed common sense in the face of accumulating evidence that Lance Armstrong's most strident competitors were testing positive for performance enhancing drugs on and off the bike.  The French government also spent two years conducting an investigation into the U.S. Postal Professional Cycling Team after traces of actovegin was found in some medical waste discarded by a team car and recovered by a French television station.  This investigation was internationally known and commented upon by the press world wide and must have come to the attention of the U.S. Postal Service.  Nevertheless, all of these warning signs were ignored and did not seem to serve as sufficient motivation for the U. S. Postal Service to drop the sponsorship of the team.

 Ad nauseum.  Let this be a lesson to everyone.  Government stay the hell out of cycling.  Government loves to take money from the golden goose for as long as possible, but when the goose runs out of golden eggs, then it is time to fleece the golden feathers.  Government loves to inflict suffering upon people who no longer produce as a bizarre form of social Darwinism; retirees or ex-cyclists with million dollar bank accounts who were unlucky enough not to be perceptive enough to offshore their money in tax shelters.  A man works his heart out and government is not satisfied with the contribution made, government expects further sacrifices in the name of the unborn.  Government is never satisfied with the pain that it inflicts upon others as a motivating factor; bums must be subjected to hunger and exposure in order to compel them to seek work or become self sufficient, food stamps must be withheld from needy families as an incentive to seek better jobs or to reproduce less (even though the food stamp program is the best small business subsidy ever invented.)  The corporate barons don't care where or how you eat as long as you show up ready to work.   But, starving workers like starving students are non-productive and generate revolutions-circa 1789.  Mythological propaganda, as long as tyrants flourish.

Government, stay the hell out of cycling!  To quote the Raven: forevermore!

Lance Armstrong Under Indictment?

After the balloon popped on USADA and the Federal Prosecutors, when in a fleeting moment of sanity, Lance Armstrong listened to someone else for once, instead of the delusional voices in his head, and decided that his idiotic kiss and tell session with Oprah was the golden gateway for a one hundred and twenty five million dollar give away from an endless succession of lawsuits, which even he cannot afford.

If Lance Armstrong would have listened to reason instead of trying to pull another charade to dupe the fools, then much could have been avoided: a resumption of the Federal investigation into the alleged use of U.S. Postal Service money to acquire performance enhancing drugs, for example.  That is bad news for Lance Armstrong because using drugs to enhance performance is a civil offense, so the USADA in spite of all of the bluster for admissions under oath are hamstrung and impotent no matter how much media attention Travis Tygart demands, under the auspicious rational of "protecting the sport."

But when the Justice Department gets involved, allegedly accusing Lance Armstrong of crossing the line into criminal behavior then the scales tip against the defendant and in favor of the government.  The problem for the government is to convince a jury that Lance Armstrong used government money to acquire dope and not money from his own personal fortune, which until recently he had in abundance.  That task will be impossible to prove without a convincing paper trail, that does not exist.  If a convincing paper trail did exist then the government would not have suspended the original grand jury investigation and would have returned an indictment.

I used to be absolutely convinced that no jury in the land, outside of a kangaroo arbitration panel, would have convicted Lance Armstrong of using performance enhancing drugs considering the sickening lack of honesty of the "scumbag informants" USADA wished to parade onto the witness stand; and due to the fact that USADA lacked a conclusive test result.  However, this conclusion is obsolete after the "confession."  Now most jurors would punish Lance Armstrong out of spite with comfortable satisfaction, jeering against such a sanctimonious scoundrel who had enough chutzpah to mislead the public.  An unforgivable crime that demands "satisfaction" or in old world parlance, a duel.  You can't win a duel with a vindictive jury that is intent on destruction of lying cheaters who confess to crimes in attempt to elicit sympathy and forgiveness.  Nope.  Now it is time to punish the bully by being a bigger bully.

Listen Lance Armstrong, when accused of a crime deny everything.  It is not your job to provide the state with evidence, it is the government's job to provide the evidence against you.  You do not have to prove anything, the state must prove the case against you.  The Fifth Amendment to the constitution protects you from self incrimination [if this protection still exists in America], you cannot be compelled to testify against yourself.  They can't lock you away in some dungeon and water board you.  This is supposed to be a civilized country and not a third rate banana republic that convenes some third rate inquisitorial tribunal.  You should have let the process play out without leaving the people who will determine your fate insisting that you played them for fools by attempting to manipulate their sensibilities with faux hallow compassion to protect your financial status and future competitive advantages.

Your suffering will be of long endurance and well deserved.       

Lance Armstrong to USADA: No Dice

When one lives in a privy, one becomes accustomed to the smell of shit!
Alexander Puskin

The long expected self immolation of Lance Armstrong did not materialize after all.  The New York Times reporter Juliet Macur has reported that Lance Armstrong did not meet the deadline to report to USADA in order to clarify his career doping history under oath.  Tim Herman, one of Lance Armstrong lawyers, did state that Lance Armstrong might be willing to testify to an international tribunal since ninety five percent of the doping problems and legal jurisdiction lie outside of the domain of USADA.

“We remain hopeful that an international effort will be mounted, and we will do everything we can to facilitate that result,” Herman said in the statement. “In the meantime, for several reasons, Lance will not participate in Usada’s efforts to selectively conduct American prosecutions that only demonize selected individuals while failing to address the 95 percent of the sport over which Usada has no jurisdiction.”

An International Tribunal?

The Europeans are not concerned with resurrection of old skeletons, and inquisitions are old hat.  If Lance Armstrong had something important to speak of that falls under the existing statutes of limitations, [do statutes of limitations still exist outside of the jurisdiction of USADA?] say knowledge of doping on the 2009 Astana team, then this information might be valuable enough for Armstrong to leverage an immunity deal and an amnesty.  Otherwise, Armstrong has nothing of value except for obsolete information on how to defeat doping tests, information that could be better gleaned from Michele Farrari.  However, there is still the prospect of Lance Armstrong exposing the UCI as a corrupt organization that can be purchased with bribery to cover-up positive drug tests.  And there is also the possibility that WADA could also be exposed as a corrupt organization susceptible to conspiracy.  Lance Armstrong might have other valuable information available for the tribunal, but old hat statements about antiquated doping do not fit the bill.

USADA: Sweeten the Pot

Apparently, although USADA baited the rat trap with a temping morsel, the rat got cold feet at the last moment and rejected the morsel as not temping enough. A reduction of a lifetime ban from athletic sport to eight years is no incentive, since both punishments equate to a lifetime ban for Lance Armstrong.  Armstrong is forty two years old, he would be fifty when allowed to compete again in a triathlon.  Who would worry about competing against a geriatric stale joke?  But, perhaps Lance Armstrong's refusal to testify under oath is intended to leverage a sweeter deal, since USADA has a history of offering sweetheart deals of reduced suspensions to informants.  Indeed, it seems incredible to note that after encouraging serial dopers with long histories of drug abuse to finger Lance Armstrong with bribes of amnesty and immunity, that USADA would seem so intransigent with respect to Lance Armstrong fingering dopers, doctors, and their confederates.  However, it is impossible to deny that USADA is salivating at the prospect of baiting the most notorious doper in the history of cycling into hanging himself.

Warm Up the Privy!

Lance old friend.  You will be lucky if you have one red cent left after these people get through with you.  You would have been better served if you would have followed counsel's advice and kept your mouth shut.  Your stupid Oprah admission to use of performance enhancing drugs, although laudable, will end up with you losing the manor house, the outbuildings, and your new residence of abode will be the privy!  But don't worry, your offended nostrils will become acclimated to the stench over time.  Like Alexander Puskin, you won't be able to runaway from Tsar Nicholas I and the censorship. USADA will dog your steps every inch of the way and in the end you will become dependent upon people whom you thoroughly loath.  The most galling prospect of all will be paying Floyd Landis money, your willing dolt.  Forget an amnesty, you are dealing with self serving people who will never accede to your demands.  Resign, your career is over.   

Lance Armstrong: USADA's Next Rat Fink?

Wow, wow, wow!  Oprah Winfrey has scheduled an exclusive interview with Lance Armstrong.  Lance Armstrong is going to confess to using, distributing, and compelling his ex-teammates to use performance-enhancing drugs, and (we hope) spill the beans on the uber corrupt UCI, Pat McQuaid and Hein Verbruggen!  You know down deep in your heart that the doper denier brigade is trembling in anticipation of the newest revelations to emanate from the mouth of der Fuhrer; the supreme bully is about to break the code of omerta, squealing like a Travis Tygart behind licking lackey and ruin everything.  Yes, indeed.  USADA is licking their chops in anticipation because good old boy Lance Armstrong is going to spare them a lot of expense and a whole boatload of money and trouble by explaining all; the actors, the dope networks, the dope distributors, the money trail.  Johan Bruyneel is doomed and will, like all the rest, have to admit that he lied and he will be forced to drop his impending arbitration; unless he calls Lance Armstrong a lying dupe and bum.  In this dope crazed steroid-induced era where memory acquisition and retention have obviously been modified through long term chronic drug abuse, recollection and retention of facts have clearly been impaired to the point that the story of what happened fourteen or four years ago clearly will be subjected to certain fictional embellishments and modifications.  These hazy recollections, embellishments, and modifications have clearly been expressed and identified in certain contradictory statements made by witnesses Floyd Landis and Tyler Hamilton.

But that's all over and no longer important, because once Lance Armstrong admits to using the United States Postal Service dollars for dope trafficking, a criminal offense, federal police agents may arrest Lance Armstrong live on Oprah.  During the arrest the audience on the set and at home will cheer another antisocial personality dope fiend being removed; hopefully forever: from our streets, from our towns, from our lives!  This is a good thing because it is too dangerous to let a man who is prone to subject others to blind obedience and submission, a man who dares to force people to engage in activity that clearly violates the law and social mores; a man who forces people to cheat the sport through intimidation; a man who forces his hapless teammates to use performance-enhancing drugs against their wills: a man who dares to form a cult of his own personality; to remain in freedom.  Lance Armstrong needs to be locked up in prison-like Charles Manson before the infection spreads, not spared or pitied.  Nobody should be duped, or be convinced, or have any empathy for Lance Armstrong's newly found honesty.

Yes, it is not enough to decimate Lance Armstrong financially, or to hoist him on his own petard, or to burn him in effigy, or to subject him to ridicule.  No, the best thing that could happen to Lance Armstrong would be arrest, prosecution, and conviction, followed by long imprisonment.

Then we could forget Lance Armstrong forever.