Lance Armstrong: USADA's Next Rat Fink?

Wow, wow, wow!  Oprah Winfrey has scheduled an exclusive interview with Lance Armstrong.  Lance Armstrong is going to confess to using, distributing, and compelling his ex-teammates to use performance-enhancing drugs, and (we hope) spill the beans on the uber corrupt UCI, Pat McQuaid and Hein Verbruggen!  You know down deep in your heart that the doper denier brigade is trembling in anticipation of the newest revelations to emanate from the mouth of der Fuhrer; the supreme bully is about to break the code of omerta, squealing like a Travis Tygart behind licking lackey and ruin everything.  Yes, indeed.  USADA is licking their chops in anticipation because good old boy Lance Armstrong is going to spare them a lot of expense and a whole boatload of money and trouble by explaining all; the actors, the dope networks, the dope distributors, the money trail.  Johan Bruyneel is doomed and will, like all the rest, have to admit that he lied and he will be forced to drop his impending arbitration; unless he calls Lance Armstrong a lying dupe and bum.  In this dope crazed steroid-induced era where memory acquisition and retention have obviously been modified through long term chronic drug abuse, recollection and retention of facts have clearly been impaired to the point that the story of what happened fourteen or four years ago clearly will be subjected to certain fictional embellishments and modifications.  These hazy recollections, embellishments, and modifications have clearly been expressed and identified in certain contradictory statements made by witnesses Floyd Landis and Tyler Hamilton.

But that's all over and no longer important, because once Lance Armstrong admits to using the United States Postal Service dollars for dope trafficking, a criminal offense, federal police agents may arrest Lance Armstrong live on Oprah.  During the arrest the audience on the set and at home will cheer another antisocial personality dope fiend being removed; hopefully forever: from our streets, from our towns, from our lives!  This is a good thing because it is too dangerous to let a man who is prone to subject others to blind obedience and submission, a man who dares to force people to engage in activity that clearly violates the law and social mores; a man who forces people to cheat the sport through intimidation; a man who forces his hapless teammates to use performance-enhancing drugs against their wills: a man who dares to form a cult of his own personality; to remain in freedom.  Lance Armstrong needs to be locked up in prison-like Charles Manson before the infection spreads, not spared or pitied.  Nobody should be duped, or be convinced, or have any empathy for Lance Armstrong's newly found honesty.

Yes, it is not enough to decimate Lance Armstrong financially, or to hoist him on his own petard, or to burn him in effigy, or to subject him to ridicule.  No, the best thing that could happen to Lance Armstrong would be arrest, prosecution, and conviction, followed by long imprisonment.

Then we could forget Lance Armstrong forever.

Lance Armstrong: Fess Up!

Bizarre, Lance Armstrong has decided to strike a deal with Travis Tygart (USADA) and David Howman (WADA) and confess to doping in order to continue to compete in triathlons? At forty one years old? How odd is that?

That does not compute and his intentions have been shrugged off by his lawyer.  What is the point of striking a post facto deal with men who have already banned Lance Armstrong from competing in athletic events for life, without even affording the poor man a hearing?  Is it possible to reason that behind closed doors Lance Armstrong, Travis Tygart, and David Howman has struck some sort of deal to lessen the punishment in return for favorable testimony against the third rail of corruption, Pat McQuaid and the UCI?  Because there is no other possible incentive to confess, Lance Armstrong has been devastated financially, his endorsement contracts have evaporated, his character has been libeled, he has been booted from his foundation, he faces an incredible number of legal challenges, including a lawsuit from Rupert Murdoch and BSkyB! BSkyB! the very people who sponsored Bradley Wiggins and Chris Froome, one, two, on the podium of the 2012 Tour de France; a team that is currently under suspicion of using performance-enhancing drugs to produce this improbable result.  But there is a silver lining, the whole issue could be resolved if Bradley Wiggins would post his UCI Biological Passport data on the Internet for perusal, but his doctors warned him not to...too many variables don't you can't explain away, and people with a little sophisticated statistical manipulation can make a case of probability out of thin air these days...but there is nothing like setting an example of clarity and transparency for other people to emulate...ask Jonathan Vaughters.

Every sport has dopers and worthless characterless scoundrels, but nobody goes after the jugular like they do cyclists.  Barry Bonds who was associated with BALCO; a man who was convicted of doping in open court with protections afforded by the constitution of the United States of America; has been dragged through the proverbial mud and ridiculed non stop: but at least he has a few dollars left and his home run record.  Not the case for Lance Armstrong, a man who has been deemed a cheater by all and sundry based upon a prosecution summary of evidence that has never been contested in open arbitration, but who is nevertheless a consensus convicted doper: stripped of his seven Tour de France titles and his opportunities to compete in further athletic endeavors for life.  And the loathsome parasites, Trek Bicycles, Oakley Sunglasses, Nike Shoes, who benefited from Lance Armstrong's shameless exploitation of a group of scientifically challenged fools (WADA) who could not produce a single viable anti-doping test that could not be easily be defeated by Dr. Michele Ferrari: if, in fact, Dr. Ferrari is guilty of facilitating doping on the United States Postal Cycling team. There is still a question as to the demonstrable proof of Dr. Ferrari facilitating doping on the U.S. Postal team because USADA has yet to provide a written summary of fact in the Michele Farrari case even though a written report is mandated in absence of an arbitration hearing, (separate from the Reasoned Decision, which dealt solely with Lance Armstrong) by the World Anti-Doping Code...but since when has USADA obeyed a legal order? But even corporate parasites have enough sense to abandon endorsements of Lance Armstrong at the slightest hint of trouble, fleeing the ship like rats when the corporate image is threatened with banishment; what was Trek Bicycles before endorsing U.S. Postal Service?  A second rate floundering company that was thinking of quitting.  Post Postal?  The largest, most successful bicycle company in the world, where the corporate executives are stowed away in a bunker busily counting their money and wondering how to be rid of Greg LeMond permanently.  Disgusting rubbish!

Lance Armstrong if you are willing to spill the beans on Johan Bruyneel and Pat McQuaid in the name of good deeds, go for it.  If you are just going to confess for selfish reasons like your worthless ex-teammates, forget it.