Lance Armstrong: USADA's Next Rat Fink?

Wow, wow, wow!  Oprah Winfrey has scheduled an exclusive interview with Lance Armstrong.  Lance Armstrong is going to confess to using, distributing, and compelling his ex-teammates to use performance-enhancing drugs, and (we hope) spill the beans on the uber corrupt UCI, Pat McQuaid and Hein Verbruggen!  You know down deep in your heart that the doper denier brigade is trembling in anticipation of the newest revelations to emanate from the mouth of der Fuhrer; the supreme bully is about to break the code of omerta, squealing like a Travis Tygart behind licking lackey and ruin everything.  Yes, indeed.  USADA is licking their chops in anticipation because good old boy Lance Armstrong is going to spare them a lot of expense and a whole boatload of money and trouble by explaining all; the actors, the dope networks, the dope distributors, the money trail.  Johan Bruyneel is doomed and will, like all the rest, have to admit that he lied and he will be forced to drop his impending arbitration; unless he calls Lance Armstrong a lying dupe and bum.  In this dope crazed steroid-induced era where memory acquisition and retention have obviously been modified through long term chronic drug abuse, recollection and retention of facts have clearly been impaired to the point that the story of what happened fourteen or four years ago clearly will be subjected to certain fictional embellishments and modifications.  These hazy recollections, embellishments, and modifications have clearly been expressed and identified in certain contradictory statements made by witnesses Floyd Landis and Tyler Hamilton.

But that's all over and no longer important, because once Lance Armstrong admits to using the United States Postal Service dollars for dope trafficking, a criminal offense, federal police agents may arrest Lance Armstrong live on Oprah.  During the arrest the audience on the set and at home will cheer another antisocial personality dope fiend being removed; hopefully forever: from our streets, from our towns, from our lives!  This is a good thing because it is too dangerous to let a man who is prone to subject others to blind obedience and submission, a man who dares to force people to engage in activity that clearly violates the law and social mores; a man who forces people to cheat the sport through intimidation; a man who forces his hapless teammates to use performance-enhancing drugs against their wills: a man who dares to form a cult of his own personality; to remain in freedom.  Lance Armstrong needs to be locked up in prison-like Charles Manson before the infection spreads, not spared or pitied.  Nobody should be duped, or be convinced, or have any empathy for Lance Armstrong's newly found honesty.

Yes, it is not enough to decimate Lance Armstrong financially, or to hoist him on his own petard, or to burn him in effigy, or to subject him to ridicule.  No, the best thing that could happen to Lance Armstrong would be arrest, prosecution, and conviction, followed by long imprisonment.

Then we could forget Lance Armstrong forever.