Sunday, January 6, 2019

LDS Doctrine and Culture Spawn Strange Marriages

Every institution has unique forms of pathological dysfunction.  For the LDS church, the largest systemic failure for returned missionary women is marriage.

Pathological Love

I met a young LDS woman in high school who I immediately fell in love with.  I love her to this day.  This woman later served on a LDS mission in Missouri.  We had the strangest relationship. For fifteen years, we wrote letters to each other, shared telephone conversations, exchanged gifts. Like a fool I saved everything she gave me for over thirty years.  When I found out recently she was married, I burned everything, letters, cards, photographs, everything.  I asked her to marry me once, but she refused.  Maybe she didn't want to mix her elite genes with my mediocre plebeian strain. I admit I have a hideous face, every woman I had an interest in recoiled immediately fearing my ugliness might be passed to her children.  I have no intelligence, or personality, or redeeming qualities.  I admit I am a clumsy oaf. A coward. A nitwit. Thick as a cedar post. Wait! that's what my parents told me on a daily basis after I defected from their precious LDS church. It is hard not to internalize insults without developing a inferiority complex. I feel inferior to her younger, better looking, more affluent, practicing LDS man. Obviously, she agrees with my assessment. I found out she married a man who is thirteen or fourteen years younger than she. This means when I met her in high school at seventeen, her husband was three or four years old.  I consider this fact repulsive. In gutter parlance, women like her are not referred to as celestial angles they are called cougar sluts!  But she is a goofy Mormon, so what do you expect?

LDS Doctrine: The Root

The origin of these pathological marriages are rooted in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.*  There are certain women who serve on LDS missions who do not get married immediately after returning from the mission field.  But these poor women have been indoctrinated into believing that without a Temple marriage and children they will never be admitted into the LDS elect. The LDS elect are people destined to die, be judged, then promoted to celestial God status. They will create worlds and rule despotic over their miserable, suffering children.

Those who do not marry are relegated to lesser roles, to diminished kingdoms, to serve as servants to the elect.  According to my old girlfriend  (she served a LDS mission and taught me LDS church doctrine)** a woman who does not marry, but who is worthy, will be apportioned to a married Elder as a second wife, and sealed to him in a LDS Temple ceremony.  Apparently, all single women who have died without being married, will be admitted into the church through a macabre ceremony known as baptism for the dead, where living people are physically baptized as proxies for a dead person, who has his or her name read from a list.  After the final judgment, these women will be apportioned out as chattel to worthy Elders as plural wives.  After these elite Gods create a world, they cannot have a large population of children without perpetual sexual intercourse with a large concubine of female slaves who have no choice but to participate in forced procreation.***


I have discovered a few common scenarios returned LDS missionary wallflower women engage in.  These poor women mope around LDS single dances, or attend LDS single wards, trolling for men with languishing glances.  But for some inexplicable reason they never meet the right man.  Meanwhile, years pass and there are biological limits.  These women are so desperate to be married in the Temple, they accept sick husbands, men who are young enough to be their sons or old enough to be their fathers.****

Case in point. A returned LDS missionary lady I knew married a man old enough to be her father.  He promised her children, even though he was divorced and had children of his own.  One fine day he abandoned her and vanished into ethereal space, never to be seen again.  This typifies the old lecherous creep who preys on desperate aging LDS women.  They have no concern for the spiritual well being of these women.  They pontificate just enough doctrinal verbiage to hoodwink the fools.  Perverts lust for younger women, for sordid, filthy, depraved pleasures.  Once their desires are satiated, the woman is discarded and they move on to other victims.  Apparently, older women seek young men as well, prostitutes seeking perverse pleasures, selling themselves to anyone who might advance their long term financial and security needs.  Smug, these older women have time in their retirement years, with a working active husband, to preen like a peacock with the elite at the LDS Temple or at Relief Society meetings.  Some women are so obsessed with church services they neglect their own families. There is a disdainful LDS cliche people recite at funerals "she loved the church more than she loved her own family."

Super Control Freaks

There are certain LDS returned missionary women who are super control freaks.  They select a man who is inactive, they befriend him, they make him promises of love and fidelity.  These women mentally are still on their missions.  I think they truly believe if they can return a miscreant man to the fold, they will be rewarded in heaven with the highest honors.  First they ask for simple behavioral changes.  If you obey out of respect for them, they demand more.  Next, they set you up in a meeting with a LDS Bishop.  Then they expect you to go on official church probation in order to qualify for a higher Priesthood.  You must attend boring Elder quorum meetings, get ordained, and secure a Temple recommend. Then, marry her in the Temple, if she will accept you.  If she has not abandoned you in the meantime out of sheer boredom.  You are nothing but an object to these women. A transitory mission prospect.  These women do not have any interest in you as a human being.  These women have zero concern for your spiritual advancement. These overly zealous fanatical LDS women regard you as a toy to be manipulated in the interests of the Church. If you are unlucky enough to marry one of these women, you will function as effectively as a bump on a log.  All family business will be decided by her. Your input, as a man, will be overruled and discarded.  There is no room for discussion or compromise with these women.  You do not reach decisions as a husband and wife team.  It will be her way or the highway.

My former female LDS missionary friend tried to browbeat me into submission, but I refused to participate in her evil schemes.  Call it a philosophical disagreement. Or a battle of willpower.  That woman caused me incalculable mental suffering.  I refused to submit to her will, so to punish me for disobedience, she abandoned my friendship, and married a man child from the cradle.  She wanted a weak inexperienced boy she could control, not a man who could think independently for himself.

Ward Pariah

A unique group of returned missionary women can best be described as ward pariah.  They choose to marry non LDS men or men who refuse to enter any church under any circumstances.  These women automatically assume the moniker of inferior, or servant class status.  Their judgment is constantly scrutinized, they are subjected to gossip and ridicule. These marriages usually fall apart after the children are grown.  Mixed loyalties do not often make a good stew.  But there are exceptions.  I once knew a LDS woman who was married to Catholic man who lived happily together until the day they died.

Old Maids

Of course, some LDS returned missionary women never marry.  Perhaps they are relegated to the apportioned class.  I thought my old girlfriend was destined to become a member of this group.  But she proved me wrong.


Some LDS church doctrine is positively malignant and destructive to forming healthy relationships.

I was sitting at a bus stop in downtown Salt Lake City, minding my own business, when this woman and her missionary friend stopped to chat. She told me she was going to the LDS Temple.  I had not l seen her for seven years.  I thought the odds of meeting her in a large city, at random, very remote.  We started dating.  I wish now she would have passed on by without saying a word.

Where do I fit in all this? Probably in the apostate class. During the splendid auto de fe, I would undoubtedly be burned at the stake for heresy by the Grand Inquisitor.  I feel like Job who was tortured for a wager, between God and Satan.  Deprive a man of all his earthy possessions, and he will renounce God! sneered Satan.  Not my faithful servant Job! boasted God.  So God allowed Satan to lay waste to Jobs' fields, and livestock.  Satan ravished his domicile.  Satan murdered his wife and children, Satan infected Job with terrible wasting lesions.  But, throughout this entire ordeal Job stood fast by his convictions.  "From dust I was created, to dust I shall return! Praise God!"  Satan lost his bet, and Job was rewarded with great bounty for his devotion to God. I do not claim to be Job. I do not have a nanogram of faith much less a mustard seed.  Thus, I feel that I was deprived of happiness for some youthful transgressions. None of which I am proud of.  My final destination will undoubtedly be the lake of fire and eternal torments.

My old girlfriend feigned truth to her principals and was rewarded with great bounty.  Maybe there is a lesson to learn here.


When I knew this woman she was a virgin whom I greatly loved, respected, and admired for her strict adherence to her principles.  We had a brief relationship governed, at her request, by LDS standards.  Those were idyllic times, the happiest days of my life.


*According to Fawn M. Brodie, No Man Knows My History, and early church documents, the early church was called the Latter Day Saints. Jesus Christ was added as an after thought. Recently, someone told me the LDS church has banned the word "Mormon" from the lexicon.  The Mormons, or whatever they are called this week, cannot refrain from historical revisionism to suit their fleeting ideological goals. As the ideological goals of the Church change, under pressure from evolving cultural norms perhaps, the current revisions will be subjected to further revisions. Former doctrinal positions will disappear down the proverbial Orwellian memory hole. Of course, this process undermines the notion of Prophetic infallibility, unless you are willing to admit that God is a unstable and capricious entity.   A Seminary teacher once told me that the inclusion of Jesus Christ in the title of the Church established the foundation of absolute truth and authentication of the Church.  Perhaps, the Mormons have a abnormal paranoia about their image.  Nobody cares as long as members stay within bounds of proper decorum and do not intrude into the personal space of others. Unfortunately, the LDS church like most cults, proselytize as a way to generate members and income. Friction with the Gentiles is guaranteed. Why not simply call them LDS?
**I made a causal statement about farming out virgin women to Elders at a chess club meeting and several LDS men were shocked with disbelief that I dared to utter such blasphemy. Maybe they thought I was referring to polygamous marriage in this world, a practice that has been officially banned by the LDS church.  No. I was referring to the LDS celestial realm.  Joseph Smith was claimed to have said you need to service ten virgins to qualify for celestial admittance. Joseph Smith reminds me of David Koresh of the Branch Davidian Church.  David Koresh was a sexual predator who serviced all of his female members, mothers and daughters included. Joseph Smith was reported to have sent his acolytes on missions overseas, and in their absence, he would marry their wives in the LDS Temple, even though these women were already married to his acolytes in civil ceremonies.  Other LDS men reportedly followed Joseph Smith, preying on young married women, attempting to marry them in LDS Temple ceremonies. The root of polygamy originated with Joseph Smith not with Brigham Young.  Nauvoo at this time was spiraling out of control as a den of iniquity.
***If you are a God with omnipotent power why would you need a concubine and perpetual sexual intercourse to create children?  Why not simply create children out of thin air like a magician, if children are required?  Why are children required?  Will these apportioned women be mesmerized into loving their Elder? What happened to the notion of free will to make choices between good and evil behavior based upon the dictates of your own conscious?
****Then there are weird family trees.  The patriarch is married and sires children.  His wife dies.  He prowls LDS single wards until he finds a young vulnerable woman.  She is sealed to him as a second wife in the LDS Temple.  They have children.  The patriarch is 74.  The new wife is 62.  The eldest son is 54.  The youngest son is 25.  The eldest son has a mother eight years older than he, and a brother twenty nine years younger than he. These strange mixed families are quite common in the LDS church.

Monday, October 15, 2018

Dr. Rachel McKinnon: Women's Cycling Fraud

Women's cycling has gone off the rails.  A Transgender "woman", Dr. Rachel McKinnon, won the women's 35-39 UCI masters track sprint world championship.  Dr. McKinnon edged out two biological females, Carolien van Herrikuyzen of the Netherlands, and Jennifer Wagner of the United States.

Social media went bizerk.  Comments ranged from gender fluidity, to political correctness, to the death of women's sport.  I questioned the sanity of the UCI who allowed a biological male to compete with females, apparently with the acquiescence of USA Cycling, when cycling boasted a mantra of "fair play."

When Chris Froome tested positive for salbutamol no one cared.  When Floyd Landis had a 4.1/1 testosterone/ epitestosterone ratio the UCI raced to fire up the carbon isotope ratio test.  But, now the newly crowned Transgender women's track sprint master, Dr. Rachel McKinnon, is complaining about a dangerously low endogenous testosterone level, "below a woman" that is impeding her performance. Dr. McKinnon is demanding an exemption from taking testosterone suppression drugs as a human right.  Apparently, her fast twitch fibers were inhibited somehow and she wants to build a little extra muscle mass from the testosterone produced by the gonadal Leydig cells women do not possess.  Dr. McKinnon wants total domination of female sport thanks to unnatural biological advantages Transgender athletes have aquired as men.  This domination must be embraced by all female cyclists and cycling fanatics.  Of course, the fact that biological women will suffer a penalty from this unnatural arrangement is of no concern to Dr. McKinnon.  Perhaps, all future female cycling races will evolve into exclusive Transgender "women," athletic events.

Poor women's cycling.  Hanging by a thread.  In local criteriums the class 1, 2, and 3 women all raced together in a single race.  The men had mutiple teams in mutiple races. The women's Tour de France has generated marginal interest.  Now we have a man winning a woman's masters sprint world championship jersey.  I am so sickened by this folly I could almost puke.  How do we endear women to our sport if men are allowed to win every women's race?  Who wants to watch a group of men masquerade as women in a criterium race?

Women of the cycling world hear my plea: if a man enters your race, strike!  Lay down your bicycles and leave the velodrome.  Bernard Hinault would not have tolerated this bullshit for one instant!  Women!  You are being cheated.  Refuse to ride!  If the UCI doesn't like it tell them to pound sand!

The UCI should know better than to inflame women's passions.  This is a mistake.  The women cyclists on social media are angry!  There is no reason to train for a important race if a man is going to participate and win.  Women are not going to put up with this nonsense for long.  Then, beware!

Carolien Herrikuyzen is the true world champion.  Dr. McKinnon is a fraud, she should have never been allowed to participate.  The master races are being trivialized, cycling will be mocked and ridiculed.  Regain sanity, gender fluidity has no place in cycling!


Dr. Jennifer Wagner has tweeted that the UCI was wrong to allow a biological male to compete against women. Dr. McKinnon called Dr. Wagner a "transphobic bigot," a standard cliche and label Transgenders use when anyone is critical of their wiewpoints. Carolien Herrikuyzen stated that the race was conducted under UCI rules and if anyone disagreed with the rules they need not race. Therefore, the race was "fair." Dr. Wagner is correct, the race was not fair, the UCI needs to change the rules, and women cyclists need to boycott races until the UCI makes the necessary modifications in the rules. Women's races are to include biological females only. Allowing men to race in women's races is cheating and far worse than doping.

Sunday, July 29, 2018

2018 Tour de France Bedlam

Geraint Thomas and Team SKY wins another Tour de France!  Break out the champagne!  Whew!  The international cycling fanatics were outraged.  (An aside to David Brailsford, cycling fanatics attend the Tour de France from all over the world, you dolt! )  Along the course international cycling fanatics pelted team SKY cars with eggs, people attempted to leap over barriers to knock team SKY riders off their bicycles!  People spit in the faces of team SKY riders! It has been alleged that people threw urine bombs at team SKY!  Totally dangerous bedlam.

Chris Froome, four time winner of the Tour de France, had to settle for a podium third place.  Chris Froome and team SKY were lucky to get invited to race the Tour de France.  ASO did not want Chris Froome or SKY, after the UCI mysteriously dropped the salbutamol adverse analytical finding Chris Froome was charged with.  Chris Froome tested positive after Stage 18 of the 2017 Tour of Spain for salbutamol, a beta-2 agonist bronchial dilator.  The WADA threshold for salbutamol is 1,000 nanograms/milliliter. Chris Froome tested 2,000 nanograms/ milliliter.  Since salbutamol is not an endogenous substance produced by the body, the only source is an external application, like an inhaler.

Never, to my memory, has an adverse analytical finding been so thoroughly debated among the worthies at the UCI and WADA.  Dick Pound the former president of WADA, amazed me when he stated that Chris Froome may have innocently snorted too much salbutamol!  What turnabout is this?  In every other case on record riders were banned for the mere presence of a prohibited substance, regardless of circumstances.

I am simply astounded at the myriad of excuses WADA and the UCI are dishing out to explain away this innocent snorting of salbutamol.  Usually, excuses to explain away positive tests fall under the purview of the riders.  Unique physiology, specific gravity, they actually proposed doing a longitudinal study to determine if Chris Froome could keep his values constant.  Constantly above threshold?  What manner of insanity is this?  WADA standards are so variable! WADA standards should be discarded as useless rubbish!  The goal posts change either in favor of, or against, athletes depending upon the person being considered.  If you are going to use a set of standards as a bludgeon, at least be consistent, or exit the field.

Unbelievable.  Dick Pound says WADA only try cases, or spend money on cases,  prosecutors expect to win.  Really?  Floyd Landis was prosecuted with zeal based upon a single metabolite above threshold, WADA spent millions to support weak evidence, no concern for unique physiology then!  At the point of being sarcastic, Mr. Pound, your long drawn out charade proved nothing except WADA laboratory incompetence.  However,  Chris Froome is an open and shut case.  But WADA declines to appeal the UCI decision to drop the case, even though Mr. Froome would likely be banned with overwhelming evidence.  Mr. Froome was double the threshold limit on both samples.  Mr. Froome has no credible excuse to explain away these test results.  Any credible prosecutor would rip Mr. Froome to shreds.

I remember when Dick Pound wanted to throw the entire peloton in jail, suspecting everyone of doping.  Now he is acting as a apologist for the dopers, accepting every half baked spin job in existence.  Dick Pound has gone mad.  Mr Pound should refrain from adding future senile commentary until he consults with his doctor.

In 2013, I warned people about SKY and David Brailsford .  Nobody listened.  Now their biggest star Chris Froome has tested positive for salbutamol.   Nobody cares.  The indifference by the regulatory agencies almost started a riot at the Tour de France. People may get hurt next time.  David Brailsford did not improve relations when he called the people of France xenophobic hillbillies.  Next year, David Brailsford may be the spark that blows up the whole Tour.

Friday, November 10, 2017

Finger Frostbite Amputation Photographs

That's morbid.  Five minutes unprotected in a down slope wind did this damage. Surgery complements of the University of Utah intensive care burn unit and two fine women surgeons, Amalia Cochran and Kate Smiley.  Let me assure Dr. Cochran women do very competent, capable,  surgeries.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: Random Thoughts

Living a life of chronic pain is something I never imagined.  One becomes hyper aware of environmental inputs to the point of morbid intensity.  The stress is unendurable.  The realization that this condition will never improve inspires fatalistic thoughts and deranged conjectures.  For example, when I die will I awake in some religious purgatory with this infernal misery as punishment.  I was indoctrinated as a child and have lasting scars.

I understand the reasoning of our wounded warriors who return from a valorous fight maimed for life and who have been changed forever.  I empathize with these brave patriots who after experiencing unimaginable trauma, can no longer maintain their former personalities. Brave soldiers who have become so physically and mentally dysfunctional they no longer fit properly in the context of our society, or in the context of their own families. This may explain the huge number of homeless veterans who sleep on American streets daily, forsaken and cast aside by the most giving of all nations. This abandonment of our veterans is a national disgrace.

I knew homeless veterans personally, not as a detached social worker, but as a homeless bum.  Our group did not drink alcohol or use drugs.  We did not fly signs, pester people for handouts, receive food stamps, or receive cash assistance.  Some of my old friends were pensioners who actually contributed years of work to society.  Yet these gentlemen preferred to dine at soup kitchens and live under tarps under trees through every type of imaginable weather, exposed, harassed, fearful, hungry, dirty, and insane.  Why am I telling you this?  Stereotypes as conceived from afar by ivory tower talking heads don't apply to everyone who lives on the street.  They are not all lazy people either, some take day jobs desperately wanting to escape their plight. The rent a bum industry makes a fortune off of down and out hard luck people.  Some even gain long term employment through temporary services, but most aimlessly drift from job to job, from town to town, accomplishing nothing.

When I was in the University of Utah burn unit  (costing the taxpayers God knows how many thousands of dollars) I asked to be released before the doctor even considered it.  I had no where to go except for the shelter medical bed.  When I was being discharged from the hospital I had a chance encounter with a homeless liaison social worker. She shamelessly shouted at me in the hallway from afar, that I could not continue to mooch off the hospital forever.  I was never so offended in my life.  Did she think that I was using the hospital as a sort of vacation retreat and that the hospital staff had to force me from my bed?  If that cunt had expended five minutes of her time familiarizing herself with "my case" she would have never been so rude and insulting.  Social workers have no business among poor people.  Her behavior typifies the prevailing response you can expect from these social justice warriors who claim to have a monopoly on compassion for the sick and injured in this world. Snide condescending jeers and sneers.   Mangled veterans suffering from post traumatic stress disorder probably run the same gauntlet when dealing with professional psychiatrists who consult their diagnostic manuals, and like pontificating gods, espouse factitious disorder or malingering. Meanwhile people are left to dangle in the wind to deal with a constellation of mental horrors alone and unaided.  Have no doubt, people derive a great deal of sadistic satisfaction from the misery of other people.  But when the laughter subsides the fatigue takes over.  People get bored and frustrated being around people who cannot control their moods and who involuntarily may even express occasional discomfort.

There is a distinction, however.  I am entirely responsible for my folly.  I had a choice to behave like a fool.  I was not serving my country like a loyal patriot.  I was not ordered into battle.  I deserve my misery.  I understand that some injuries change people forever.  I understand why so many people consider suicide.  The country can do better to help people who are not at fault and who served with distinction.

I used to spend days in the library researching depression.  I thought I had rewired my neurons, a firm believer in plasticity.  That was a voluntary effort, but this chronic pain is beyond conscious control due to the sheer number of damaged pain receptors  Extinction is impossible.  It is inhumane to force people to suffer, but millions do every day without any possible respite. We as a nation can do better to help those who cannot help themselves.