Friday, December 27, 2013

2014: The Golden Age Of Cycling?

Have cycling fanatics become like possessed swine who rather than submit to exorcism to expel demons, would prefer, like Ostriches, to bury their heads in the sand pretending to be invisible?  Oblivious of reality, do cycling fanatics follow the herd mentality, and rush off a precipice into the sea in a fit of mass hysteria?  Sure enough, the hardcore cycling fanatic refuses to abandon the sport; no matter how dismal the circumstances may appear.  But this aberration clearly does not apply to the fair weather fans, who are only interested when an American hero has a chance to win the race.

Back in 2006, there were large numbers of people crowded around the television to watch the Tour de France, and the race was on all day long.  In 2013, the television was tuned elsewhere, there were no requests or desire to watch the Tour de France.  Professional cycling has become British dominated rubbish of highly dubious value, the source of this British dominance is hugely suspect.  To investigate the source of this British success seems beyond the power of the regulatory agencies.  But when American champions test positive for performance-enhancing drugs they have their titles taken away by the regulatory agencies.  American heroes are always banned for life, zealously hounded, while European champions who are guilty of similar crimes receive the Ostrich treatment; a small slap on the hand, new contracts, and unlimited future racing opportunities.  The credo among the Eurozone; ignore everything and maintain omerta.  Honestly, it is proven that Jan Ullrich committed numerous performance-enhancing drug-related offenses; to claim otherwise is nonsense.  Has Jan Ullrich's 1996 Tour de France title been erased?  Was Jan Ullrich suspended for life? 

Back during the days of Marshall Walter "Major" Taylor, the greatest track cyclist of all time, the velodrome was packed with over a hundred thousand rabid American fans. American fans ruled the track cycling world. But with the invention of the automobile, and race fixing by professional gamblers, cycling has faced hard times in America.

So what are we left with?  A bunch of jaded fans who have become callous to everything including dope?  Imagine Marshall Walter "Major" Taylor these days killing fools on the track.  Imagine if you will the accusations and recriminations that would issue from the mouths of self-styled evangelical narcissistic perfectionists.  The man is too perfect to be of biological origin, the power equation is impossible sans dope. Yes?  I am sure Major Taylor patiently endured smears from the culture of his day as to the question of his biological origin, but to include probable doping as the reason for his outstanding performance would have been the final coup de grace!

Yes?  But as a human species, we have evolved!  No longer are people treated differently based on ethnic origin.  The playing field has been leveled.  All men are now created equal thanks to the eternal diffusion of knowledge and acceptance of the philosophy of diversity.  Hypocritical reasoning has been abandoned in favor of sound rational reasoning, especially in cycling, our holy sport.  Never again will cycling be besmirched by foul greedy opportunists or their facilitators.  Some of the facilitators, sadly, also pose as agents of governing bodies.  But in future men who are in positions of power espousing flowery rhetoric, men who engage in under the table sleight of hand, men who accept bribes to falsify laboratory test results; will be detected, reformed, or removed from power.  Never again in the utopian world of 2014 will men be tempted by greed, avarice, bribery; all vice will be abandoned in favor of the moniker of "fair play."  Riders will actually win races based on superior physical ability, not upon a cocktail of performance-enhancing drugs they received during training and racing.  Indeed, punishment will be meted out in a non-discriminatory fashion and apply equally to everyone regardless of national origin.  Persona non grata will disappear, athletes will be granted the same due process rights as the prosecution, and athletes will always be afforded the means to defend themselves in arbitration.  2014 onward will be regarded as the Golden Age of Cycling, with beautiful riders adorned in festive colors riding through scenic splendor, athletes who will be adored by admiring fans who know that the golden boys and girls who compose the peloton can resist temptation and compete fairly.  The podium girls will shine above all with their angelic goodness.

An impossible dream?  Depends upon you and me too, dear reader.  We can take some initiative or continue on as possessed swine who pose as Ostriches with buried heads; rushing off the precipice in a suicidal plunge of self-deception.

Meanwhile, see you on the sub-zero teeth chattering, bone-chilling descent, baby!

 

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