Court Orders Lance Armstrong to Testify

Lance Armstrong, poor misguided man and ex-doper who foolishly spilled his guts before an indifferent public who could not have cared less about his former doping exploits; has been backed into a corner with a foolishly misguided court order that demands that he openly testify as to whom and when his former confederates knew of his doping offenses during the seven long years that the cheater reigned as king.  The court is also very interested in statements that would implicate the UCI as participants in accepting bribes from the deposed kingpin. Then there are allegations of coverups that occurred over several occasions; allegations denied by Pat McQuaid and Hein Verbruggen as malignant slanders. The Lance Armstrong saga is like an unending revolving door that is annoying like a persistent fly; some insurance company is filing a lawsuit against Lance Armstrong to recover money that was paid out under fraudulent misleading circumstances.

Travis Tygart, the USADA mogul cares very much about the results of this testimony, be assured.  Tygart appeared on some syndicated horse crap sports show talking smack about his private corporation USADA that is funded with public money, as a constitutional entity based upon a decision of U.S. District Court Judge Sam Sparks; who opined that anti-doping arbitration offered due process to the defendant, not that due process was required.  Where in the constitution is an American citizen denied the option to forgo due process?  Where in the constitution does it state that the prosecution has the option to act as judge, jury, and executioner?  Where in the constitution does it state that solicited testimony may be acted upon without the accused being offered an opportunity to rebut this testimony under cross-examination?

But Travis Tygart would argue that these constitutional protections are unnecessary because doping in sport is not a criminal offense, but a civil matter, and that when given a license to compete, the athlete agrees to abide by certain stipulations, including USADA testing and USADA prosecution of alleged doping offenses: that essentially to compete in professional cycling racing the athlete agrees to sign away certain constitutional rights.  The whole process from licensing to final arbitration and sanctions are private matters that are governed by private rules; rules that are agreed to in advance by the athletes.  So when the process is subjected to capricious and arbitrary changes the athlete has nothing to complain about.  Thus the evolution of the "non-analytical positives," suspensions based upon testimonials of ex-teammates who claim to have witnessed the use of prohibited substances "taken or distributed" by the accused person.  These statements by ex-teammates saves the investigatory agencies a tremendous amount of time and money and the subsequent expulsions of the accused may not require due process because the athlete may waive his rights.

Nevertheless, Travis Tygart will be more than enraptured to read any testimony that Lance Armstrong may provide to the court.  Feeling slighted because Lance Armstrong refused to testify under oath as to his doping past, Travis Tygart hopes that finally, he will have the needed testimony to issue even further "nonanalytical positives" against potential wrongdoers that he failed to catch in the first dragnet.  Of course, this testimony will fill in the gaps that were never explained in the first go around, not to mention a bases for an internal personal justification for the "fair" process that serves to protect the "clean" athlete and ensure "fair" competition.  All free of charge, provided by the chief kingpin, drug racketeer, and disreputable villain Lance Armstrong himself.

Icing on the cake, baby!  Lance Armstrong will be compelled to destroy lives and careers while Travis Tygart cheers from the sidelines!  Hooray!  Champagne!  A toast to the death of villains!  Why consider whether these people were the victims of intimidation when they are such convenient victims of the "non-analytical positive," and serve as such succulent fodder for press releases.  Look at these horrific people peddling dope, our funding is justified, the process is working and generates results, and outsiders have no reason to meddle.