Friday, October 29, 2010

Hurrah For Alberto Contador!

Hurrah for Alberto Contador! avowed victim of Spanish serendipity! Tainted beef is not, at this point, a plausible excuse; for as the Spanish agricultural trust will exclaim indignantly, in every instance of testing of beef for clenbuterol this year, there has not been one positive test!

Nevertheless, the joyful people of Pinto, Spain who offered Alberto Contador new citizenship, defend his honor most voraciously, in spite of the agriculture inspections. The Spanish culture loves champions, unlike past American Tour de France champions, who sprint to the microphone in a heated rush to judgment. But a Tour de France champion is something to be proud of in Spain; unlike America.

Saxo Bank, if it survives unsold or an investigation, assures Bjarne Riis full support after signing Alberto Contador to a two year, nine million euro contract. Saxo Bank is under the belief that Alberto is innocent and fully supports the embattled Tour de France champion. Saxo Bank was ready to terminate the team after Frank and Andy Schleck defected to a pro tour team that is being formed in Luxembourg. But, with the Alberto Contador contract, Saxo Bank decided to venture on, with or without their newly signed star.

Bikezilla, with his mouth agape in astonishment at the thought that I would support laboratory findings that indicate prohibited substance and illegal blood transfusion abuse rather than preposterous fabricated alibis, is shocked at my conclusion. Under WADA code; under strict liability; a mere presence of a prohibited substance implies culpability; no exceptions! Clenbuterol is not an endogenous substance, the mere presence of which may be disputed by simple fluctuations in carbon atoms. No, indeed, clenbuterol is an exogenous beta-2 adrenergic agonist that works on receptors of the smooth muscles of the nasal passages to dilate obstructed airways.

Clenbuterol is a substance that is abused to increase performance in athletes and has been banned by WADA. Cyclists who suffer from asthma or other health related problems have an opportunity to apply for a Therapeutic Use Exemption; if approved by a creditable physician. International standards pertaining to Therapeutic Use Exemptions should be harmonized; therefore, they should apply to all cycling entities affliated with WADA or the UCI. The understanding of the rules and the punishment for violations are clearly delineated. People who work with athletes should review new updates of rules if they are confused...poorly contrived de facto excuses of ignorance are unacceptable!

But, to be fair to Alberto Contador and his inventiveness, ingestion of clenbuterol tainted meat has had "outbreaks of acute illness in Spain, France, Italy, China, and Portugal 0.5-3 hours after individuals ingested liver and meat containing clenbuterol residues." The symptoms of acute clenbuterol poisoning from eating tainted meat was usually "resolved in two to six days." As a defense lawyer it would be advisable to gather testimony from the Astana teammates of Alberto Contador: dispositions stating that team Astana was suffering from symptoms of acute clenbuterol poisoning; but deus ex machina recovery was instantaneous enough for the Astana team to pilot Alberto Contador to a virtual tie in time with Andy Schleck on a tough mountain climb the very next day!

Very unlikely that the entire Astana team made such a remarkable, immediate improvement in health. "Pish-posh," indeed.

That excuse should provide some very entertaining, though unconvincing testimony!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I actually stand with my mouth agape fairly often. I think I just forget to close it sometimes.

I do want to believe that Alberto is innocent. But guilty or not guilty, I think he MUST be suspended. The damage to the sport of cycling is so much greater if he isn't.

I also think that the rules are unfair and should have a threshold. But fair or not, they are the rules and shouldn't be the rules when it's some relative nobody being nailed but suddenly be "more guidelines than actual rules" when it's a megastar.

You rock, VV.

velovortmax said...

Tom:

I agree with you that all riders should be treated in an equal fashion. Nevertheless, rest assured, Alberto Contador has been provisionally suspended by the UCI. When the UCI takes further action and files an Adverse Analytical Finding: how will the Spanish Cycling Federation respond? A Grand Jury investigation? or are judicial inquiries limited only to American champions?

BTW: love your sense of humor.

VV